Family resemblence

My mother emailed this picture of me age 2 (I think I look 3). The other one is Frost age 3. I was wondering who Wren will resemble. The pediatrician said she thinks his blue eyes will turn brown (Frost is blue-eyed like Josh while mine are brown). Its funny - half the people who see Wren say he looks Just Like Frost and the others say Just Like You. I think he looks Just Like Wren.

Another good night / pet sorrows

Wren slept well again last night. He fell asleep on Josh's chest around 8.30pm (nicely timed for me to do Frost's bedtime) and we transferred him to bed about 9.30pm. He woke at 12.30 and nursed and then again at 2.30am and then at 5.30am. From then on it was a bit grunty but still I love the longer stretches. They bode well and I got up at 6.45 without any resentment.

He has also shown no ill effects from the vaccines other than being very sleepy and fussy yesterday afternoon.

I miss the rats. I keep feeling bad when I throw away leftovers that I would have given them. Also, I think I smell them but of course I don't. Josh has started to talk about a lizard, a water-dragon or a ferret. I am thinking of a hermit crab. I want something short-lived and hardy since the rest of the family tend to shirk pet-care duty after the novelty has worn off. Actually, how long do hermit crabs live?

Googling quickly:
Hermit crabs potentially may live 10-30 years with proper care. Success at keeping your pet hermit crab for the length of its lifespan rests solely on your ability and responsibility to provide it with the proper care it needs.

Okay, so we won't have hermit crabs. I recall reading about some insects that have short and interesting lives and never need to eat - rising only to breed and pass on. That may be all we are capable of right now.

Frost says that we should go to church and "talk to the rats as if they are a Newspaper God and a Squeaks God." He added, "only joking". He also said we dont' need a pet because Wren is "so kyoot."

Pediatrician appointment and shots

Wren had his 2-month pediatrician appointment (and vaccinations) this morning. I thought I was going in for a general checkup but apparently since he is only a week short of 2 months it is okay to give him his shots.

He had 4 shots and one oral vaccine. I feel very conflicted about vaccinating him so avidly. Frost had only half the recommended vaccinations and we eked them out over a few weeks. Wren has had a BAM BAM series and I hope does okay. Thing is, with all his contact at Children's and with Frost bringing home all the new school bugs and of course the fact I want Wren to be extra protected because of his heart condition I am glad of the vaccines. On the other hand I am of the mind that avoiding some of them is not such a bad thing. I would have been really happy if Frost contracted chicken-pox for instance but now it would not be so delightful.

Aside from the conceptual objections, the shots went well and Wren didn't cry for long. The nurse was like a Duracell Bunny - Zap - bandaid, Zap - bandaid, Zap - Bandaid... and so on.

Anyway, Wren has a slight rash on his face and has been prescribed 1% hydrocortisone cream to reduce it.

His stats are:
Weight: 13 lbs 4 oz - 80th %tile
Length: 23.25" - 75th%tile
Head circ: 15 3/5" - 25th %ile.

Before I started to panic about him becoming a pinhead, Dr Levitt assured me it was tracking that way from birth and he is just long with a fat belly.

I am encouraged to keep him on iron unless there is actual sign of constipation and his Zantac dose has gone up to 1mg.

Now, the big news.. LAST NIGHT WREN SLEPT FOR 3 HOURS, TWICE! He went to sleep at 10.30-1.30am (nursed), woke again at 4.30am (nursed) and then again till 6.30am! It was brilliant. We kind of got up at 6.30am because he was doing the grizzle and grunt awake-sleep. He passed out again in the swing for another hour so he was wanting to sleep more in his noisy way. Still, it was an excellent night. Now, as a result of the shots, he is having another nap so its not a hard morning.

This afternoon the tuberous rats are going to be killed by the small-animal vet. It is very sad and I am trying not to dwell on it but they are having trouble moving and are so alarmingly distorted by the tumors that our guests are alarmed when their small children comment that "the rats are lumpy". It is very disturbing and I can't deal. So, they are to be gone after this afternoon.

I don't like to end on that note but I am going to sit down with the reheated decaf coffee I didn't get to drink this morning. I don't care if it tastes of the kitchen paper I used to filter it. This is the kind of thing one has to cope with when the coffee papers are forgotten in the weekly grocery haul. I can fold a mean funnel out of toilet-paper too and I'm getting pretty nifty with cloth diapers (shaped to Wren, not the coffee percolater).

When I scratch my pants they chirp like birds

Just when you start to wonder why you wanted kids in the first place they redeem themselves by saying something like "Mummy, when I scratch my pants they chirp like birds!". I have been repeating it to myself regularly to counteract the effects of nightly sleep deprivation and 3 hours of co-sleeping (back in spasm, irritability, resentment, tiredness in the bones). Frost has discovered the joy of synthetic material and likes to scratch his clothing and see what noise it makes. To me he sounds like Neruda.

I have also resolved to set up playdates for coming weekends. I think we are up for company when both Josh and I are home and we are clearly failing to meet Frost's needs for social contact. I just sit on the couch nursing Wren or jiggle around the house wearing him to sleep. Josh just sits on the counch watching football or his laptop. Neither of these are conditions that please Frost. Today, he is trying to persuade me to build a look-alikes city with him. Since this involves making a big mess of miniatures, boxes, glue, polystyrene, corks etc to create a city which then decays into a pile of non-recyclable debris - I am not keen. He is begging me. On top of it all I can't find a store that sells pokemon starter sets - an acitivity I would be happy to share with Frost.

I am now off to Children's for the Heart kids support group. Wren is yelling while Josh tries (semi-unsuccessfully) to soothe him and he told me to type fast.

Synagis done!

The nurse from Swedish Homecare Services came over this morning and gave Wren his Synagis shot. He weighed 13lbs and she said he looked excellent. He screamed and cried for a while after the shot and then had a little nap but seems to have forgotten it already. He gets another one monthly till April. Apparently he is also indicated to receive these for the next 3 years because of having a heart condition and a sibling

Medical non-compliance

A selection of Frost and Wren last night.


For the past two nights Wren has slept one three hour period. Sometimes these begin at 9pm so I miss part of it but its still a bit improvement on the 90 minute sessions he was having a week ago. Last night he slept 10-1am, 1.30-4am and then the bad grunty-snacking period until 7am. I don't think I slept after 6am. He also alarms me at night by dreaming and breathing very fast at times which makes me alert and sleepless.

This morning he seems okay. He nursed well in the night and didn't sweat at all and he woke smiley. I shall wait and see how he does today.

Anyway, the title of this blog relates to the book I am reading The Spirit Catch yous and You Fall Down about a Hmong refugee family with a sick child interacting with the US medical system. One section deals with the way they feel that compliance with medical advice is optional and routinely alter medication and administer the medications they like. While the book addresses the deeper issues of the cross-cultural misunderstandings I was thinking how I am as the patient or parent of a 'sick' child and whether I am totally obedient.

I find that I am not.

If there is an area in which I am not fully educated about the reason for a therapy or subscribe to an alternative I don't comply. An example is the iron supplement Wren is on. I suspect it is causing him constipation (he strains a lot when he is on it) and am also of the view that iron levels in babies are over-rated. However, I am concerned that he not be anemic in case of future surgeries so I have decided to administer his iron every second day. I will discuss this with our pediatrician but meanwhile I am quite happy to do what I think is best. I also didn't use the cortisone my doctor prescribed because I don't like cortisone but I took the prescription "in case" I changed my mind.

I wonder if I am atypical in doing things a bit my own way and how difficult this must be for doctors.

Vague Unease

Today is one of those days on which I wonder whether Wren's okay. He's just very sleepy - has only been awake for one long period all day and the rest has been brief periods of being alert followed by another nap. Its now the usual nap time and he is resisting my excuses to wake him. Perhaps he's tired because he only went to sleep at 11pm or perhaps he's having a heart crisis. Who knows.

He's also fussy when he nurses about half the time (again, often is when he really wants to sleep and is only a bit hungry) and he seems to be getting red more frequently but it quickly fades.

He has done this before and it passed but then it also turned out to be a problem at last checkup so I have no idea what to do.

I have called our nurse (Jenny) at the Heart Center to see what she thinks. I also want to know what "sweating" means. Does it mean a little damp when he's nursing snuggled up in a blanket or does it mean swesweating like an athlete? Sometimes, if Wren is bundled and I am holding him while he nurses, his forehead is a bit clammy. Again, not every time... but I am just feeling anxious and I wish he was as wide awake and chirpy and nursing with quiet industry.

JENNY CALLED BACK:

Okay, she had me check Wren's feet which are lovely and warm and pink which is a good sign. She said that the sleepiness is only a problem if it persists for a few days and the same thing with his nursing behaviour. Other than another echo (scheduled for the 26th February) the only thing that would be diagnostic is a big pressure difference between upper right arm and lower extremity so she suggested we ask our pediatrician to take pressures on Monday or come in and have them do it if I am still worried.

When I asked about sweating she said I would see "beads of sweat" on his nose. Being a bit clammy when he's swaddled and nursing is to be expected because he has to work a bit harder than usual. I have to keep track that he is getting enough fluid - he is definitely managing to do that - and other than that just keep an eye on him for a few more days.

Actually, I never keep my eyes off him long so that doesn't mean much. Still, its reassuring.

Wren at 7 Weeks

Waiting for his bath.

On Monday I took Wren in to Newsvine and everyone commented that he did not look like the newborn they were expecting. Its true. He is now 7 weeks old and getting quite plump. His legs, which were little sticks when he was born, now have rolls of fat and even his calves have healthy curves. He has found places to fatten himself behind his neck and under his armpits as well as the usual cheecks and belly. His belly deserves special mention.

In utero, Wren was scanned a number of times to check on his rate of growth. These growth and size estimates always noted that his extremities measured 50-70%ile while his belly was a good 20% larger. This is how he remains. When we went into Cardiac Clinic last week and I undressed him for weight and length measurements Elisha was startled and said "his belly is distended! How long has it been like that?" He was unconvinced when I said "always" and worried me. I asked Dr Lewin to check his belly and he said its fine - nothing of concern there (even his liver is now normal). He said he just has a big belly.

Despite his heart condition and rapid breathing, Wren is quite strong. He loves to push up off his legs and stand holding onto my fingers. When he's in my lap he pushes up off my legs and quivers there a while before his legs collapse. While he does this his eyes are wide as if its a great effort. He also holds his head up almost all the time but needs some support after a while or it lolls back a bit. When he is on his tummy he lifts it up a little bit but not enough to really enjoy this process much.

He is much more talkative at this age than Frost was. I remember taking Frost to a language lab at UW and them wanting to record his "babbling" (months later) but Frost was always pretty quiet until he started talking. Wren likes to make noises. He doesn't "coo" but he grunts and hoots and makes other noises that sound like "nyah" and "hi" and "ooo-oh". Most of his talking is done at diaper change time when I lay him on the little wedge and chat to him while he watches the curtains. He usually replies after a while and waves his arms and legs around while he makes his own talking noises.

Meanwhile, he is starting to be a bit more interactive in other ways. He has a distinct cry and behaviour when he wants to nurse (which is all the time) and he smiles occasionally at irrational moments. He loves to watch the fish mobile in the living room and to listen to the sound of the bath running in. If he is crying Josh holds him next to the running faucet in the kitchen and he quiets down.

He likes to look around the room when he's in a quiet state and is particularly happy when I carry him around in the sling. Sometimes its hard to get him in there if he is already fussy (mainly because I have trouble positioning his feet now he pokes them every which way) but he usually falls asleep pretty quickly if he is at all tired.

He likes to wave his hands about if I lie him on the floor but he doesn't seem to find them when he wants them. He likes to suck on his hands but I have to bring them close for him to get a hold of them and just when he is happy sucking that hand he is distracted and the hand flaps off somewhere else and he gets pissed off.

Here he is flapping about waiting for bath:


Wren can follow me with his eyes if I move around in front of him and when I hold a particularly interesting toy he will move his head around to follow it, even arching backwards as if he could see behind his head if he tried hard enough.

He continues to have a lot of baby acne on his cheeks, around his one ear and under his chin. It could be a sign of the dairy sensitivity I have been worrying about. I've been trying to remove dairy from my diet but its too tempting with the ice-cream floating around in the freezer. Perhaps, starting Sunday I will make more of an effort to stick to goat cheese.

Listening Mothers

I went to the Listening Mothers group this morning. It was fun. Most of the babies in this group were born in November but there is one who is almost 6months old and one who was a premie so is smaller than Wren.

Many of them are noisy sleepers. The mother of one of the other noisy sleepers ("sleeps" from 11pm - 7am already) said her baby sleeps in her own room in a crib. At first they had the baby monitor on but it kept her awake hearing the almost-cries and resettling so they keep the nursery door open and turned off the monitor.

I wouldn't go that far but perhaps some kind of earplug is in order :)

Scientific Obsession

Last night I took a step back and redefined Wren's "sleep problem". The problem is not that he wakes too often but this:

Wren sleeps in the wedge. He has Zantac at bedtime. Firstly he has 2 or 3 periods of 2 hour peaceful sleep starting around 8 to 11pm. Then, around 3-5am he enters a very disturbed period of sleep lasting 3 hours. He thrashes, grunts and half cries, strains, flails arms and legs (kicking of swaddling blanket) then settles for a few minutes then repeats the grunting, snorting and flailing. I turned the light on and watched him... his eyes are flicking under this eyelids and he looks like he is about to wake but doesn't. He falls asleep for a short period and repeats.

If I interupt this by nursing he usually latches and nurses for 5 minutes and then falls into a better sleep for about 20 minutes before staritng again. He naturally rouses himself every 45 minutes to and hour.

This is the behaviour that is most disruptive to my sleep because I can't sleep through it and worry about him. I have some theses I will type in later. Any ideas?