Yesterday, I had the bright idea to juice-fast but was seduced from 
the liquid path by a trip to the thrift store.  I was walking the 
aisles hoping to find a raclette (miracles do happen at Goodwill) when I
 saw an appliance on the American end of the culinary spectrum:  a 
bright yellow pretzel maker.   I put it in my cart and wandered around 
for a while failing to find a raclette.
The
 background to the pretzel impulse was a family trip to a gastropub.  Hot
 pretzels with mustard or, god forbid, liquid cheese dip, proved popular.  The yellow pretzel appliance implied that I could make 
delicious carby-twists at home.  Then I got thinking.  Surely the appliance 
would only 
cook the pretzel.  There were little pretzel-shaped 
depressions in the non-stick base which would, presumably guide me to 
shape my dough but nowhere was there any dough extrusion equipment.  I 
googled and my suspicions were confirmed - the one star reviews said 
"This is fine for people who like to make bread!"
"Well, hell yeah!"  Father than act as a deterrent, I was now inspired.  I like to make bread.  I could make pretzels.
On
 return from the thrift store I found the family in their usual 
head-down-in-electronics mode and dragged Frost into the kitchen to make
 pretzels with me.  We pulled up the first recipe and Frost read it out 
while I ran around the kitchen grabbing ingredients.  Yes, don't ask me 
how we happened to have non-expired Active Dry Yeast and cows milk and 
barley malt syrup in the house at the same time.  I have already spoken 
about miracles once in this post so I won't go there but it happened.
It
 turns out pretzels are a lot easier than bread.  You throw the yeast 
into warm milk, add flour and sugar and stir, bang it about a bit and 
let it double in size.  Then, bang it around a bit more, make 30 inch 
long worms in pretzel shapes, dip into boiling water with baking soda 
and malt in and bake for 12 minutes!
  | 
| The first pretzel worm being formed (30 inches is long!) | 
  | 
| Frost forming his pretzel | 
  | 
| Wren with the malt soda bath "It looks like erupting root beer"  (don't know what that expression is on Wren's face) | 
  | 
| The fattest pretzel.  Others were better proportioned | 
  | 
| Eating pretzels with mahjong | 
Pros:
- We had pretzels in 90 minutes 
 
- Frost learned to knead dough
 
- Josh tapped into his long-unused expertise in dipping bagels in a malt-bath
 
- We used the Murray River Gourmet Salt Flakes we've had for ages.
 
- It was fun to make pretzels.
 
- It was fun to eat pretzels. 
 
 Cons:
- The kitchen was a mess.  Dough is basically glue.
 
- I ate 1.5 pretzels on a juice fast day.
 
- The family divided along the yellow mustard vs dijon mustard lines and as usual Josh was the only one on the yellow-mustard side BUT there was no smooth dijon mustard so our pretzels were, to an extent, unrequited.
 
 We ate the pretzels while learning (re-learning) to play mahjong.  This was surprisingly complex.   More on that later.