Wren, Frost and I went to the zoo this morning. It was the Speed Dating equivalent of a normal visit. How to see the most animal in 30 minutes. Our goal was Giraffe so we raced around the africa savannah seeing hippo, oryx, zebra, ostrich and finally... GIRAFFE.
Wren noticed a clutch of [ostrich] eggs in the savannah and was excited. "Are those Zebra Eggs?" he asked?
"Do zebra's lay eggs?" I asked.
"No?" he answered, carefully.
"Who lays eggs..."
"BIRDS!" he said... "I don't knowwa? Do they?"
As we passed the hippos I realized that some adults are not much better than Wren in imagining Zebra eggs. A woman walking with her daughter (age 5ish) said "Look at the rhino statue, Macy."
The Rhino is pictured in this mud wallow below.
"Is it a rhino?" asked 'Macy'.
"Sure is. Look, it has armor on it."
"But it looks like a hippo."
"No, its a rhino."
"But it doesn't have a horn?"
"Some of them don't."
The boys riding the Rhippo
After sorting that out we moved on and Frost saw a bag of jelly beans spilled on the ground.
"Can we eat them?" he asked.
"Can we eat them?" Wren echoed, hopefully?
"Sure," I said. "You can eat one. They probably have zoo-poo compost on them but if you only eat 1 you'll be okay."
"Yuck! Zoo poo?" grimaced Frost, unsure whether I was serious.
"It will be fine, with one." I confirmed.
Wren dusted one off and ate it so Frost did too.
"Would another be OK too?" asked Frost, looking at the fallen bounty.
"I think you should just have one."
I had one too. I think that jelly beans, having hard shells, are less likely to absorb bacteria and stuff from the ground so I wasn't too concerned despite the stares.
"Shannon, Come, come and SEE what we found!"
A bit later we played with Dylan and Laurie and ate food that had not be on the floor near animals. Dylan impressed Frost by his April 1st PRANKS (disconnecting the toilet chain in the cistern so it would not flush, taping the toilet seat down). On the way home Frost asked me how you stopped a toilet flushing, exactly. Not being very mechanically minded this was a challenge for Frost.
I told him he was not to mess with our new toilet in our new bathroom or he would have a new sense of my role as Mother [of the bathroom]. Of course, my hostility was masking a secret fear that he will open our new low-flow, dual flush toilet and take it apart, somehow. Nobody, not even our plumber, knows how the Europeans make their toilets and I am hoping to wait at least a decade to find out.
Later, when I was on the phone to Yet Another Roofing Company, he called me to his bedroom urgently. I know its urgent when he calls "Mommy, mommy" instead of a rather droll, "Shannon".
I opened the door to his room and a raw egg fell from the sky and broke on the carpet.
The Wicked Snow Queen cast him in her icy glare and swept from the room, her ermine furs hissing on the dirty carpet.
He was very quiet for a long time and then came out cautiously and asked "are you cross with me?"
"That was a REAL EGG from our OWN CHICKENS." I said. "You should apologize to them."
OK, that was not really a quotable moment from my parenting bible but its all I could think of. He should drop eggs on Joshua. He is the one in the family with a sense of humor.
Good news from the awfuldentist today - only a few more months of braces!!!! He said "a couple" so I told Frost "by summer, no braces" to manage his expectations.