Saturday, February 12, 2011

When the Tooth Fairy forgets

Last night Frost had a tooth fall out, unexpectedly.  I know that teeth don't usually announce their departure but, just a week before, the orthodontist (aka Awful Dentist, to Wren) had expressed a cautious optimism that Frost could avoid an extraction of the tooth which had failed to budge.  X-rays showed the underlying new tooth was pressed against it at an acute angle and it was thought that it might not exert enough force to remove it.  To help it along, the OD had loosened Frost's retainer and was hopeful that would help.

Never underestimate the will of a child faced with the threat of an extraction.  Frost said "the tooth actually kind of helped because wiggling the tooth helped give me something to do other than wiggling my retainer and I don't know why but I liked to wiggly it and I just kind of did it for fun!  After a bit I forgot about having it PULLED if it didn't come out so I just kind of helped myself by wiggling it!"

Frost bundled his tooth up in toilet paper and put it under his pillow.  I confess, since I read about stem cells being harvested from teeth whenever I see a dropped baby tooth I get all excited and think about all those stem cells in there that we could collect as insurance.  Now we know why the Tooth Fairy pays for baby teeth, she has this cryo-bank and is cultivating organs for sale on the black market!

In the morning Frost came through to Wren's room clutching his tuft of toilet paper.  The tooth fairy had been distracted and had forgotten to collect the tooth overnight!

"The Tooth Fairy FORGOT Mum."  he said, with much melodramatic winking.

"What?  Why did it forget?" asked Wren.

"Mum FORGOT!"  said Frost.

"FROST!!" I said, gesticulating madly at Wren, for whom I have not yet had a chance to dust of the story of the tooth fairy and stock his penny elephant with some coins.

"OOH!  The tooth fairy was busy."  said Frost, quickly.

"I think she was in her BOAT!"  said Wren.  "So she couldn't come.  She goes in a boat and she couldn't go in the boat."

"Perhaps it was a storm?"  I wondered.

Wren opened the curtain to check the weather.  On noticing the rain he felt that the fairy could not come in the rain because "Tooth Fairies DIE in the RAIN!"

Frost said "Will you pay me now?"  which, thankfully, went over Wren's head as he pondered the high risk employment of the tooth fairy.

I gave Frost $2 which he spent on a Mirraden Besieged Booster pack.  We went out to dinner tonight and enjoyed ITalian at Piccolo in Maple Leaf.   We played Magic the Gathering at table and did some puzzles.  Wren ate lots of spaghetti alfredo and Frost said "the spaghetti was really good.  Much better than I expected."  He was rhapsodic about the chocolate gelato.  He said "it was decadent, delicious and creamy.  I feel I have tasted it before somewhere but I can't remember...."

I am glad it is not only Old Tooth Fairies, like myself, who forget.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Photoshopping the Mind

Last night we went to John and Liz's housewarming.  It was a generously calorific and family friendly event (most kind for a couple who has house-rabbits but no kids) and we came home with a six-pack of home-brewed cider and some passion-fruit syrup for Frost to try in his soda-stream.   Once we were in the car Wren remembered he had left his Omnitrex (a Ben 10 artifact gifted to him by Alex).   Nobody knew where it was but Frost said:

"I know where it is!  I think.... I have a picture in my brain but my brain
may have Photoshopped it."

He ran inside to find the Omnitrex.  It was not photoshopped but was found, lying on the side-table where he remembered it.

As someone who has, in the past when sleep-deprived, accused people of taking my stuff only to find it in a place I mis-remembered, I am going to use this one in future.

Instead of saying "I am elderly, accusatory and have wronged you" I shall say "Oooooh, my brain photoshopped it.  Sorry."

Sunday, February 6, 2011

"You must eat 9 hot cooked brussel sprouts"

Sometimes you have to go out and leave your children with someone else. Seriously, you HAVE to.  If you don't how are you going to come home and find them excited about their custom origami fortune tellers?   How are you going to learn what your children see in your future.

Wren's fortune teller (realized by Heather)

Wren grabbed me first and asked me for my color.  Then he moved the fortune teller around and asked me for a number.  He can read numbers so when I told him I wanted 7 (yes, yes, I know its predictable) he picked the right one and moved it again.  My final choice revealed my future!  It is:

You get a 
spartan Lazer and 
a thousand bucks 
to buy 

This was all written by Heather as per Wren's instructions.   I was very excited about the money and although I have not received anything yet, I remain hopeful.   Wren told me that I could have another fortune too.  Given the specific nature of the first fortune I felt that was appropriate.  I mean, you can have a fortune for relationships, one for work, one for spiritual growth surely.

My next fortune was about food.  I chose number 5 which informed me:

must eat 9
hot cooked brussel
 Now, I am one of those people who like brussel sprouts so I didn't feel upset by this instruction, but I am also more comfortable with the astrological or fortune cookie genre of divination.  In these fields the fortunes tend to be general and uplifting rather than didactic and cruciferous.  I was concerned enough that I agreed to receive yet another fortune from Frost's fortune teller.  

Instead of colors, Frost's version started with the categories  RED, UMMMM, RANDOM LETTERS AND RAINBOW.
I was intrigued and chose RANDOM LETTERS.  

It informed me:

Ninja's burst through 
your window, Michael Jackson
moon walks.

While not exactly reassuring the form was reminiscent of a haiku and I interpreted it to mean I would live an exciting life enriched by memories of happy dead people.

At this point I decided I should look behind the veil, so to speak, and catalog the range of possible futures in my children's fortune tellers.  I opened them up and I am sure you are interested in sharing them.  Here is what else they said:


You win
hot chocolate
But it will cost you $5

hang up and
try again.


I have been encouraging Frost to WRITE more to practice handwriting
and was impressed by his small script.

This is a bomb.


A female
bull falls in
love with you


As I count
to 10
Wren will burst into




You! "write with"
improper.  grammar
and I does

On reflection, this fortune is less about me and more about my kid's view of the world.  

For Wren it is about significant events which populate his day:  the weapons of Frost's video games, the imperatives to EAT YOUR VEGETABLES and the possibility of reward (hot chocolate!).  

Frost is more interested in being the provocateur, aware of the rules (bull-love, weapons, grammar) and poking them.  But then there is that laughter, that joy he gives Wren (along with the terror when he makes my old doll, Lucy, into a zombie pursuing him).  As long as I prevent him taking the This Is a Bomb note to school, we should live long and happy lives.

That is my soothsaying for the evening.