Another rant about sleeplessness coming.
Last night Wren fell asleep early - 6.00ish he was deeply asleep in the swing and still sleeping at Frost's bedtime so I nursed him and put him to bed in the wedge for the night. I went to bed around 9pm and he slept till 11pm ...then started that grunting and groaning and stretching and kicking - waking every hour right through till 3.30am. Finally, he slept two hours till 5.30am and then the hourly or 45-minutely until 7.30 when Frost woke up. I moved him to the swing and he is still sleeping - now in silence.
He (and I) must have woken 9 times during that 12 hour period.
I swear I am at my wits end. When he's doing all this super-noisy straining active sleeping I check him carefully and he is really truly asleep until he finally rouses himself and cries. If I nurse him he nurses for about 2 minutes then falls into a deeper sleep. Other times I pick him up and rock him a bit then he falls into a deeper sleep so its not like he really wants to wake up. Its so confusing. But what is not confusing is that I can't exist happily on one or two 2 hour stretches a night and most of it this hourly waking, straining and grunting pattern.
Josh sleeps under the blanket and I cover my head with a pillow and I can still hear him clearly.
At 3.30am I completely lost it and told Josh "something is wrong with him, this is not normal". Josh said "every baby is different" but I can't believe the human race would have a problem with overpopulation if any meaningful percentage of babies did this. I kept thinking how sleep deprivation is a form of torture and then feeling guilty at my resentment of Wren because we are so lucky to have him in bed with us at all after all his heart complications. So, at 3.30am I was having an emotional breakdown smelling his lovely little head and then just wanting to get in the car and go and stay in a hotel for a night.
Honestly, its now 8am and he is sleeping better swinging in that swing than he did in his wedge all night and I am wondering whether I could use the coffee grinder and not wake him.