That Cheapskate Tooth Fairy who is not real anyway.

Wren says he has had an awful day that wasn't too bad.  It was awful because he spat out a bit of tooth at breakfast, kicked his foot twice, fell on his bottom twice (coming down the slide too fast) and had to go to the dentist to evaluate the tooth situation.

It was also dreadful because of the stupid tooth fairy.

When Wren's tooth fragment fell out, he was elated.  "YAY!  This means I will get money from the tooth fairy!" he said.

"I am not sure the tooth fairy pays for parts of teeth"  I commented.

Fool.

"But my tooth fell out!" said Wren, adamantly.

"Oh, I guess so, but it shouldn't really do that when you are not at school yet.  Its a bit soon.  I think a bit broke."

Wren: "BROKE?"

Me:  "Just a tiny bit."

The piece looked like half a grain of calrose rice.  The dentist later told us that it wasn't really even tooth but rather a piece of filling which resembled tooth.  It had, apparently, been loosened by Wren's infamous tooth-grinding.  Even if the tooth fairy paid for parts of teeth, she certainly wouldn't pay for parts of non-tooth particulate.

"BROKE!"  Wren was not upset, but indignant.

I nod.  

"The Tooth Fairy does not exist!"  he announced as his first assault.  "YOU are the Tooth Fairy.  I want 3 dollars!"

"Me?"  I said.  "Well, I am sometimes a Tooth Fairy but some people think there is a Real Tooth Fairy.  Tara does!"

Wren:  "Well, I think there is NO TOOTH FAIRY."

Me:  "Okay"

Wren:  "But I do think she brings me THREE DOLLARS."

Me:  "If you go to the dentist because part of your tooth falls out, I will give you two dollars."

Wren:  "Three dollars."  [yelled]

Me:  [Raised voice]  "I am offering you two dollars for teeth.  The tooth Fairy in our family does not give three dollars.  What do you even want three dollars for anyway?"

Wren:  I will NEVER EVER LET MY STUPID TEETH FALL OUT UNLESS THE TOOTH FAIRY GIVES ME THREE DOLLARS."

ME:  THEN YOU WILL LOOK LIKE A SHARK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL OF TEETH!


[SILENCE]

Me:  What do you want money for anyway?

Wren:  I like to go to the toy store and go shopping.

Me:  Well, we can do that sometime.

Wren:  I will sell away my toys and go shopping.

Yeah!

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It was also a good day because we went to the playground, ate a donut, picked up Wren's Paint the Town Dragon, played pigs, didn't need a shot at the first dentist visit and made a fire in the garden.
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Anyway, for those of you not updated via Facebook, Wren's chest pain was diagnosed as "chest wall" pain, and his knee pain as restless leg syndrome (he commonly has sore knees at night).

I was very relieved to hear that the doctor did not think it was heart related and told him to sit up straighter and slowly breath more deeply until it passed.

Thanks for the concern everyone.

Wren goes to the dentist tomorrow (with antibiotic prophylaxis) to have his filling replaced.