Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Vignette #1: Siblings
Frost was off school on Monday with a sore throat. He was lying languidly on the couch under a soft blanket when Wren came up to him.

"Say OW Frost." Wren demanded.
"Say OW."
"No," said Frost.
Wren bent over and picked up a nerf gun lying on the carpet. He hit Frost over the head.
"OOOOWW" said Frost.
Wren seemed satisfied.

Vignette#2 Seedy places
Frost had his top braces fitted today. They were uncomfortable and his gums hurt but the orthodontist only had tylenol capsules. Frost is not yet able to swallow a tablet with water so, after much weeping and complaining, we decided to try and buy some Tylenol on the way to school.

We were late so I stopped at a mini-mart attached to a service station. As soon as we walked in I realized it was not going to have Children's Tylenol as its patrons were unlikely to have ever spawned a (known) child.

The shopkeeper kept his eyes on the kids from the moment they came in. I was looking around in hope of finding medicines and he kept meeting my eyes as if to show he was watching me. I guess I look like the kind of person who might be going to steal a six-pack of beer, a wad of ribbed condoms or perhaps a single dose Ultra-Concentrated Excedrin. The kids were clearly kleptomaniacs about to steal wads of gum (or gun-shaped cigarette lighters) or some Energy Drink.

A man in a business suit pushed past us in irritation (like there was no other aisle) and then, after we had moved, pushed passed again with a curt "excuse ME."

All the while, a strangely out-of-tune radio was playing something jarring and foreign.

As we were leaving the store Frost asked me "What is a *exual *timulant?" I have eliminated the Ses in case a search engine records me as a lewd site. I explained that it was sometimes used by people who had trouble having sex.

Then I paused. "Do you know what *ex is?"
"YEES!" said Frost, exasperated.
"Well, last time I asked you said it was rubbing bellies together!"
"No, its... [Frost explains correct anatomical act.]
"I know what it is!" says Wren, who has been listening.
"What is it?" asks Frost, sensing the kind of wildly funny moment he is at pains to create.
"It is when you rub balloons all over your body and it gets covered in FUR. No, I mean HAIR. It is called 'looning!"

1 comment:

tamusana said...

It isn't rubbing bellies together?!!

Fantastic :-)