Sometimes I feel I have to be a computer geek to get Frost to turn off his computer. Here's how it goes:
Me: Frost, its time to turn off your game. Wind it down within 5 minutes.
Frost: WHAT? WHAT? I HAVE MORE TIME.
Me: No, the time is up now. You have five minutes.
Frost (apparently cursing under his breath without the use of discernible swear words)
10 minutes pass.
Me: OK, turn it off.
Frost: I CAN'T
[He turns his back to me and cowers closer to the screen as if to protect the power button from me]
Me: You can, just QUIT or PAUSE.
Frost: I CAN'T. I will lose ALL MY PROGRESS and I have [earned 3 billion golden coins / gained eternal life / beaten the boss / discovered a secret level] and DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT????? DO YOU???
Me: Yes, you knew you had 5 minutes...
Frost: Well, there is no exit from this level. This STUPID GAME doesn't have a save / end / quit / pause button. I DON"T KNOW WHY. Can YOU see it?
Me: There must be one.
Frost. NO, there is NOT.
Me: Well, lose your progress then.
Frost: You want me to lose my progress (sad voice with strident undertones)
Me: I want to stop talking about it... and turn it off.
Frost: Ok Ok... I will turn it off.
[I turn away to attend to Wren who is trying to watch the game hero [goring a bear / flying through the sky / talking to a penguin] while [shrieking about candy / needing to poo / wanting a snack / wanting to watch Zaboo / needing me to DRAW A TANK RIGHT NOW. I draw a tank while making dinner, a snack, putting on the dishwasher and answering the phone.] In this way 5 minutes pass before I notice that Frost is still playing his game.
Me: FROST, TURN THAT THING OFF!!!
Frost: I AM!!!! BUT AS I WAS TURNING IT OFF THE STUPID GAME ATTACKED!.
Me: What? The game doesn't jsut attack.
Frost: I was going to the exit and this guy attacked me!!! Now I can't quit.
Me: Well PAUSE and Daddy can figure out how to quit later [I often have to call Josh to counter this argument that "I can't quit". There is no PAUSE. I will be just a second.....
Me: You can't quit? Well, I can.
[I stride over and grab the mouse, intent on TURNING IT OFF. My dramatic flair is compromised by the lack of an obvious control menu in the game. I can't find the browser. Argh! My eyes flick to the computer power switch which is covered by a plastic button because Wren used to turn it off at willl and anyway, you know you shouldn't hard power it down even in a moment of parental tantrum. I fluster around while Wren shrieks because I am now delaying in drawing the BOMBS for the TANK.
Eventually, I find a way to close the browser / game and it is gone.
Frost is belligerent and accusatory. I am belligerent and louder. I yell at him that he had many warnings and it is time to do his reading / game / hang out. He tells me to stop lecturing him and walks to his room sniffling and dejected.
I am once again the BAD GUY.