Bedtime again

I felt quite depressed this evening thinking about the moderate gradient across the AV.

I spoke with the surgical fellow in the unit this evening about my concerns and he feels that its still a great improvement and better than doing a kono at this point.

Apparently taking down and redoing a kono is a big deal and it is preferable to do the initial kono with a larger heart to minimize the chance of damage. If Wren's aortic root continues to grow well it may even need no enlargement to have a valve replacement (I don't believe he was remembering Wren's case history when he suggested this, I have little hope of lasting that long prior to valve replacement BUT it was nice to feel that sense of options and not knowing instead of a sense of gloom). He said that Wren's AV was small and even a 16mm St Jude's valve may have been a stretch to insert.

I guess its good to air your fears because this is where we are now and we will face what comes next, next. Right?

I was talking about this with Carrie (mother of the 8 year old Meagan) whose daughter is having her 3rd surgery. She says that she feels you have to just face one surgery at a time and while its harder when the child is older, you are also better prepared.

Before we left I ran into her with a cup of 10 goldfish. She is bribing Meagan to eat 10 goldfish with the promise of having a pet mouse when they get home.

Ah, it makes me want a rat. Then again, even my RAT needed surgery (she developed mammary cysts) and that was traumatic in itself. No new pets. Wild free things only.