Wish I lived in the country with a goat

I could really do with a goat today. Its a goatish rainy day with too much mess around the house for me to hope to get on top of. I am feeling miserable and have decided to see a counselor to try and get a handle on what is wrong. I don't know if this is just some post-partum artifact or if there is really just too much for me to cope with but I am tired and want to get coffee delivered every day and do nothing much else. If I had a goat he could eat all the popcorn off the living room floor and remove a few sweaters and neglected house plants too. I think digging in dirt would also do me good. I would leave Wren with the goat and if the goat was really wooly I could make a goat-wool sweater.

Sometimes coping is just breathing in and out.

On the way to school today Frost said that when he was 3 and 4 I told him not to yell when he was angry but that now I yell at him and am angry all the time. He suggested he draw up a chart with little boxes and every time I am angry I have to tick the box and give him a dollar. It makes me sad. I am really doing a lousy job with everyone except Wren. Wren thinks all is dandy because he gets carried all day and fed on a whim and sleeps when he wants. I don't know what I am angry about. I just feel that I have no space anymore and am drowning in a sea of lost shoes, cookie crumbles, dirty dishes and snarled bedsheets. I dream of throwing things away but sometimes even the solution is too much effort.

So, the country is looking good. My yurt could be messy or better still there would be a mummy-yurt and a Frost-yurt and a Joshua-yurt and a communal yurt and mine would be clean and peaceful all the time. In honor of the yurt-in-the-sky I am going to burn incense.