After all Wren has been through I feel loathe to complain about him. We are lucky to have him: his feet, hands, hair, smell, snuffly noises and fat belly are perfect and even his less than ideal behaviours like the effort he puts into loud bowel motions and gnawing on your shoulder are somewhat endearing. Nonetheless, without wanting to jinx anything and send him back I must complain. His sleep is not perfect and its not endearing.
I am not coping with it at all.
This morning I threw a tantrum with the household in general. Well, not completely general since Josh slept through it but Frost, Wren and the cats were all the subject of my frustrated outburst. No, lets not mince words: my fear and anger. The mental subject line of this memo to the family was Wren has to sleep better.
Last night he slept 8pm -9pm. I went to bed at 9.40pm and he woke at 12.30am, 2.30am, 3.30am, 4.30am, 5.30am and 6.30am. I got no more sleep. I was okay first thing in the morning but Wren was exhausted by 8.15 and wanted to sleep but the only way he'll do it is by being carried. I am at my wits end. I put him down in his bed and he screamed bloodly murder or "get here this minute mummy I am going to be eaten by lions" or whatever primal terror is generated by being asked to sleep alone.
Until last week I could set him down and he would fall asleep with minimal whining. Now he lets rip with a mighty cry within minutes and doesn't let up until he is shrieking like a fire engine on the way to a multi-storey emergency. The sound tears at me and I worry his heart will pop - strain the sutures and thus my desire for sleep will kill him. I remember how his blood pressure spiked when he cried and I freak out and pick him up. I set him down when he soothes then we go through it again, escalating each time till I cave and carry him for his nap. I can set him down eventually and he naps 20 minutes more but you can see how this gets to me. I can't nap because I am holding him. Ugh.
Anyway, he is now napping in the swing and will no doubt refuse to nap for his scheduled hearing test this morning. It is at Swedish First Hill and I am supposed to deliver a sleeping infant for testing. Of course, it doesn't help that my Swedish baby email this morning tells me that:
A 3-month-old is no longer a newborn. By 12 weeks of age, most babies have settled into a manageable routine of eating and sleeping. They've usually outgrown the tendency to cry inconsolably in the evening... You've learned so much, and everything is easier.
What are they on? What is up with Wren? Why do I breed such lousy sleepers? I feel all ashamed at being so mad with everyone while Wren was crying [Frost for not putting on his shoes, cats for sleeping on my meditation cushion] but I will probably do it again next time.
10 comments:
i hope you get some sleep tonight. How is wren doing? do yo think there could be a reason for his sleep pattern to change this week? is his hands warm when he is waking during the night or maybe his reflex? i hope you get some sleep tonight.
wyndi
I hope so too. I think he's doing well. He looks fine, alert, active, good perfusion. I have been giving him his meds so I don't think reflux is bothering him.
When he wakes he's not crying loudly just grizzling and fussing until I rock him to sleep. If not he slowly escalates to loud crying over 45 minutes (while I can't sleep).
It always happens when he goes to bed too early - 8pm instead of 9ish. I have no idea why. Its a mystery.
Does he have a pacifer ay all? izzy would wake up if she lost her paci and cry until I woke and gave it to her, then we got the wabunub and she could hold it by herself.") She had a binki from the hospital and has always liked them. It is her way to calm herslef and feel safe i think. I hope keeping him up til 9 helps. Izzy is the same. If she sleeps to soon she wakes more during the night and I end up putting her in bed with me on thoses nights. I'm probably not suposed to do that? Wyndi
Does he have a pacifier ay all? izzy would wake up if she lost her paci and cry until I woke and gave it to her, then we got the wabunub and she could hold it by herself.") She had a binki from the hospital and has always liked them. It is her way to calm herself and feel safe i think. I hope keeping him up till 9 helps. Izzy is the same. If she sleeps to soon she wakes more during the night and I end up putting her in bed with me on thoses nights. I'm probably not suposed to do that? Wyndi
sorry about the multiple posts
Hey Shannon,
Sorry to hear that Wren is still having issues sleeping, I can't imagine.
Are you still staying away from dairy? Are his stools and gas okay? Does he ever burp when you get him back up?
I'm super lucky to have had two great sleepers although I admit that from the first day I get them to sleep by themselves (even though in a co-sleeper), don't give a pacifier, etc. If Ryan gets too tired he'll be super agitated and I'll have to let him nurse to go to sleep but I try not to do that either. Like I said, both my kids have made this very easy and I haven't had to deal with any of your issues, so I consider myself lucky.
I wish I had better advise for you, but I don't.
Glad to read that his weights is going so well.
I took Ryan to the doctor today and he weighs 12 lbs and will be 8 weeks old tomorrow. He's growing very well!!
Good luck tonight.
Heather
Heather,
Part of what is so frustrating about this is that Wren has been doing okay with sleep until this past week. He doesn't use a binkie, only nurses back to sleep during the night, has been going to sleep on his own for naps and very easily in the sling or chair. I thought we were over the worst.
Last week he started to complain more and more when I set him down for nap. I don't like him crying very hard because he's still small and I worry about his heartrate and blood pressure. Also, it makes me very upset. Fussing is okay but his reaction to being set down is more like hysterics than fussing.
So, we have been picking him up and then setting him down soothed. This is not working anymore. Now he just picks up his agitated self immediately.
AS a result he is now overtired from napping inconsistently and shorter (with all the fighting).
This feels like a behaviour not a medical issue but you never know. I have checked for teeth and fever - he seems fine.
I have been having a little dairy (a bit of chocolate here and there, take-out indian that contained ghee). This seemed to be okay over past weeks but perhaps its time to try NONE again.
I had a 30 minute nap this afternoon and feel a bit better but it is not a happy situation.
Wyndi
Wren doesn't have a pacifier and I don't think it is a heart issue or reflux. I suspect its behavioural. He doesn't liek being set down and gets upset when he wakes again and finds I am not holding him.
Obviously, I don't like him crying. How have you worked with Izzy's sleep without her crying? It seems that everyone lets them cry to "learn to sleep" and I am not ready to do that.
For what it is worth, I remember having those same sorrows over Ian's sleep. He would do better and I would think we were over the worst of it, and then he would start waking more and not sleeping as much and I would be crazy again!! Retrospectively I think for him it related more to something developmental then anything else-- like a growth spurt, or when he was a bit older learning to sit or crawl. These things he was working through would through his sleep inot a tail spin for a while. I would always worry that if I " gave in to picking him up" he would get back into some bad habits and my mom gave me some wise advice during these times. She told me to " listen " to your baby-- i.e. follow your baby's ques. I still was scared about the regression thing, but I do think she was right. Ian would usually return to better sleep patterns once he was through with whatever he was trying to get through and I relaxed a bit. Don't know if any of this info will help-- just know you are not alone. I had bad sleepers as well..... suzie
Hi Shannon,
Just a quick thought. Most breastfed babies go through periodic growth spurts where they will nurse like crazy every 1-1.5 hours for usually 1-2 days. The typical times are 3 weeks old, 6 weeks old and 3 months old. Perhaps this is contributing a bit to the craziness of this week. Hope all settles down soon. Take care. - Josephine
Post a Comment