Thursday, March 17, 2011

Do you want a coffee with that espresso?

I have been using my coffee crutch a bit lately.  Its not my fault (is it ever) - its the fact that I really like peace and quiet with my rain instead of rushing and driving.  Driving in rain is so much work - you can't see properly, everyone is rushing, the single lane roads are always double breasted with traffic and the transitions are complicated by mud and... blah blah [insert complaining here]

But if you're inside and have coffee its so lovely.  Its like a big sign saying "Sit back for some caffeinated contemplation."

Then in the middle of your relaxing midday-crisis when you're drawing Venn diagrams in your mind with words like "Botanical Illustration of mushrooms" in one and "World health activist" in another and "Wise Mother" in a third and you've just seen a potential overlap and then someone yells or breaks something or swears like a sailor and it goes like this:

Wren:  Play with me NOW.
Me: I am just sitting down for a moment.
Wren:  NOOOOO!!!!   Crud!
Me:  Wren!  I am just having a moment of coffee and ...
Wren:  I HATE YOU!
Me:  Well, I don't like you either.
Me:  Well, I would like that right now!

And in your head you are rewriting those Venn Diagrams into "Wise Juvenile Mother" and "Solitary Artist" instead.


Frost is reading his way through Pinkerton’s books [Thanks Mum].  He has read the Hobokin Chicken Emergency and is now enjoying the one about the Cat Whiskered Girl.   He says they are very funny and have unusual things happening in them and keeps wanting to recount detailed incidents which sound a bit Dada.

Meanwhile, as you may have gathered from the earlier dialogue, Wren is practicing being a dictator and I am not going by the Parenting Books in my reaction.  I am just done being reasonable (you can make some creepy laughter here if you think I have never been on the big R side).  

If I were writing a book on Child Development I would get rid of the myth of the terrible twos and start a new theory of the Ferocious Fours.  Four is horrible.  Wren is vocal enough to explain his preferences with exquisite precision and loud enough to make that conversation painful.  He is also cute enough to make his demanding conversations fascinating and worthy so you feel like a stink saying No to anything.

Actually, they are not conversations.  They are directives.   Four is all about telling us what he wants. 

What does Wren want?  The moment he gets up, Wren wants to PLAY with you.  Rather, you have to play with him. IF you don’t he lets out a piercing angry shriek and falls on the floor in angry sobs.   He likes to play Pigs in the [INSERT CURRENT LEVEL OR GAME HERE] and Magic the Gathering.  Many times, he wants to “Check for something on the internet” or “Make a new deck” all before breakfast.  Lately, with Daylight saving beginning and some residual time dislocation from our HAwaai trip, we are getting up by 8am for an 8.30am bus.  There is no time for games. 

What does Frost want?
Internet / games
Stay up late
A bedtime snack at 9pm.

What do I want?
Heck if I know but it better come with a coffee on the side.


Anonymous said...

indeed Wren is becoming a dictator. How to make him more of a negotiator? can you introduce some new phrases into his language. mabye he is taking the determinist language from his surroundings in an attempt to control a world he actually feels that he cannot control.
BTW what does Josh want?
loved this blog, made me laugh so much.

Shannon said...

Ah yes. The "What does Josh want?" question. I think Josh does pretty well at taking care of Josh so he gets what he wants or (he likes to think) he wants what he gets. The few exceptions are when he is interrupted doing Sounders blogging, is Interrupted playing a MMORG or is Interrupted Sleeping.

See? He has clear parameters.

He would also like to live on Vashon with 5 acres and a goat and a dog and a happy family. He thinks the space will make the Boys more like him.

I am not sure I could farm 5 acres with the little help I would get in the time left to Josh after the commute so this is a Conversation In Progress.

For the record, I like the goat and the acres and the boys-in-space part of the plan. Just not sure if its feasible.

tamusana said...

ha, Wren's so precocious... already hating you, and he's only 4. Kenji waited until 6 to hate me. Now he reminds me as often as he can, in between adoring me when I give him things he wants. (Luca has never said he hates me. I'm so proud.)

Shannon said...

THanks for finding some positives to it. Personally, I think precosity is due to exposure to developmentally inappropriate Elder Brother. When Frost was younger I could keep him cloistered in a world of flurry toys and Preschool Rated TV. The strongest emotions he ever saw were my meltdowns due to sleep deprivation. Now, Wren sees the Passion of 9 and Futurama!