My Research on Sibling Rivalry - Day 1

I am reading Siblings without Rivalry and on Chapter 2. My first exercise is to observe my children's sibling rivalry and the dynamics of siblings in our family. I presume later chapters will give me instructions on how to improve my response and you will then have the pleasure of seeing how cross it makes me. For now, a transcript of BREAKFAST DAY 1.

The boys and I are sitting at the table with breakfast. Frost has been woken at 5.30am by Wren yelling. Frost has tried to go back to sleep but failed and is surly and resentful. He is wrapped in a blanket and has been saying he can't go to school because he is too tired. MEANWHILE: Wren is drawing in his sketch book and eating dry Cinnamon Life from a bowl with his fingers. He is talking about the drawing he is doing. His narrative is constant and stream of consciousness.

Frost: Wren, shut up. SHUT UP.

Me: Frost, don't talk to your brother like that.

Wren: QUIET GONE, I Need QUIET GONE drawing.

Frost: What does that mean?

Wren: That means you go quiet and far away in our house so I am drawing.

[Frost leans closer, right next to Wren's sketch book]

Wren: GO AWAY.

[Frost covers himself in a blanket very close.]

I tell Frost to move to the other side of the table.

Wren sings to himself while drawing and sings. He talks all the time. [this can be irritating to me too]

Wren: Da ad ad ad ad Do. In a different house a baby is sad because he has no father or dad or grandpa or anything. They got died. I don't have any fathers because they died a lot of turns. I am drawing a house of them. They are in a family house. A ghost comes into the house and he is very friendly. And the boy says that his father died and the ghost says my father died too.

FROST BONKS HIS HEAD LOUDLY ON THE TABLE.

Frost: Shut up. WREN.

Wren: That wasn't good. That hurts my feelings.

Me: Frost, please listen to Wren. You hurt his feelings. If you can't be polite to Wren you can leave the room.

Wren: Frost, you are RUDE. I told you. Echotie. You are RUDE.

Frost [laughing] What does echotie mean?

Wren: It means you are rude.

Frost: ECHOTIE

Wren: No, only I SAY ECHOTIE.

Me: Wren, Frost can use words he wants.

Wren: NO ONLY I SAY ECHOTIE!!!!

Frost [muttering under blanket] echotie, echotie, echotie

WREN: NO NO NO ARGH [violent gesture] ONLY I SAY ECHOTIE

Frost has his face to the table wrapped in a blanket.

He mutters: [you are echotie]

Wren: BAD FROST!!!!!

Wren: Could I have breakfast Mom?

Frost has his face on the table under the blanket he is making a snuffle noise.

Wren: Frost, go away because you are IRRITATING ME.

As you can see, Frost is the instigator in this case.