I felt great afterwards.
Next was Taking Wren to Art School. He was querulous when we arrived and decided it was time to go home. Now. Immediately. I told him he could go home after art class so he did one painting and then said it was time to go home. Now. Immediately. The teachers are very nice and allow parents to stay so I prepared to sit in the lounge and wait with Frost reading Farside. Wren found that too alarmingly far and cried to go home (now, etc etc) so I had to join him on the mat playing with small stuffed rodents in a basket. I played squirrel, chipmunk, beaver (rodent?) and oppossum (not rodent?). Then I played with the little people and the stuffed bears. I started to tell Wren the story of the 3 bears in a funny voice and before long I had half the preschool class gathered around involved in the story. Thankfully the teacher came over with the Three Bears story and suggested storytime so I was able to escape and am now typing this post from a spot in the shrubbery outside preschool. It is shady and there are no children in sight.
After Wren is done at preschool I will be going to the chiropractor. While I was lying on the massage table I did my best to get the masseur to tell me to stop seeing the chiropractor but she said that some bodies respond well to bone adjustment. I shall have to see how I respond. Right now I feel that I prefer the deep probing to the violent wrenching
Update on the Chiropractor
I am going to see the chiropractor a few more times but I am not sure I like her. I mean, I like her but she has really drunk the Koolaid on chiropractic work and wants to do direct debits from my checking account for a monthly total of 12 visits. Are you insane woman? Anyway, after the adjustment I feel worse than before but have failed to find any google records for chiropractors who have actually broken patients necks so it must just be a feeling I have.
I may try another chiropractor recommended by my naturopath. He doesn't see you more than every few weeks. I welcome successful chiropractor stories. Actually, I welcome any stories of chiropractors who break necks, too. It would help my though processes.
Then later on...
Later, I have someone coming over for my 3-bin-compost system (which I made with my own hands and saw and hammer in the days when I did things like that) which I donated FREE on Craigslist. The people who are taking it are going to use it in a P-Patch (community garden) in West Seattle which is a good home for it.
I made this
Later still still, I hope to meet my friend Laurie for drinks. We have tried to talk while our kids have playdates but its too hectic to speak. Those childless among you may not believe me. But it is impossible to speak sequentially while 2, 4 and 8 year olds are playing.
Follow up to the career crisis post
Thank you to all of you who responded to my earnings angst, my career crisis, my big-blob of motherhood moment. I can divide responses into two groups. The first group is from mother's who have gone through the same thing and come out the other side. They said [to paraphrase] come and talk to me, you need to work at this, its not your fault, we have been there and you will get through it]. This group includes my mother. Thank you.
The other group of responses said [to paraphrase] "you are obsessing about this and should just follow your heart and do what you are interested in love and if it doesn't work there is still the chance to do something else, life's not rigid, you are talented, you are still you, there are plenty of jobs out there. Just get one if you want." This group loosely includes my husband.
And lets just say that that sort of talk is kind but nonconstructive.
Some time ago I read a copy of Brain Child in which a writer complained that when she was at home full time the cost of her labor at home was effectively deducted from her husband's paycheck but when she wanted to go back to work the cost of the childcare was supposed to be met by her nascent employment. This makes it very hard to earn enough to make it viable to afford quality childcare.
I like the idea of organizing childcare and then getting a job but that may be unrealistic - what if the hours don't match or I can't find a job soon enough? Anyway, I am going to avoid the whole cost-of-childcare obstacle while I weigh my options.
Aside, for my mother and Josh
I know you are the only one interested in the details of my neck diagnosis. The masseur is trained as an osteopath, pilates instructor AND masseur. She says she is very pleased that all my neck symptoms 'make sense' and then explained what is wrong. Apparently I have a lot of tension across my front upper chest which you can see by my rounded shoulders which cannot pull back. This puts my neck at the wrong angle - leaning too far forward. It is also asymmetrical - probably from those years carrying Frost on one side in the sling. This means my right shoulder pulls my neck vertebra to the left where there is a lot of muscle tension. The right side overcompensates lower down to pull it back. Her goal is to open up my front breastbone area (am I a chicken or is there a better word?) and muscles so my back and neck alignment is correct. Then the muscles will stop the spasms. I need to strengthen my core muscles to help holding my chest more erect rather than slumping. My first exercise is to lie on my back on a tennis ball to work into the tight muscle under my right shoulder blade.
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