Saturday, August 9, 2008

Can I have a soundtrack, please?

What with stomach flu, impending heart surgery, 2 boys on summer vacation and getting up at 5-something-am every day, it is not surprising that I am missing out on quality time with myself. I have been neglecting all those precious moments doing the bills, watching bad television, making food from scratch and doing laundry oh, and anything creative.

Now doing open ended creative things is very important for me. I can feel my mind making all kinds of relaxing connections when I play - kind of like a day-spa for the soul. But I haven't been doing ANY of it. I haven't drawn, made a necklace, squeezed mosaic into squishy cement, painted a mailbox or done a painting for Mum's 60th (overdue by 6+ months). I haven't even made a playlist on iTunes.

I feel like I am living life with a MUTE button and I am swearing at the Director - "can we have a soundtrack, please?"

This has gotten so bad that my subconscious has started weighing in. Last night I dreamt that I went over to Carrie and John's house and borrowed their laptop. John is the only full-time artist I know here so I guess my mind picked him as the symbol. As I walked around their house (they were supposed to be At The Beach) I admired all the artistic dioramas they had - little nooks with lights in, collections of shells, tiny people doing fun things - and wished I could have done them. In my dream I said "I wish I had time to make art".

Kind of explicit, huh?

The problem is that art is messy, open ended and adult-fun-art is not so good for the Two & Under set. So, its unlikely I can get into it any time soon. Still, perhaps a few beads on a string after dark can be arranged?

Today its sunny. Listening to the new Conor Obert album (and enjoying it). Its a day of birthday parties (2 of them), dinner out for Josh and I (stomach flu is past), helping tour a few more folks at school, running off copies of application folders (for school), cleaning my desk and watching some Olympics if I sit down without Wren asking for "muk muk muk" all the time.

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