Our Children Can Swim with Dolphins aka 'when do you qualify for charitable fun?'

I subscribe to a discussion list with the congenital heart information network. Its a great list to connect with other parents of kids with CHDs and some who have graduated into the great big world of adult cardiology. Alongside the many issues of concern on themes such as:

• Blueness: What is too blue? What about blue toes in the bath? Blueness that is occasional? Purplish twinges?
  
• Awful doctors: Can you believe they said that to me? Did that to her? Ignored that again?
  
• Miraculous recoveries & absurd cures: If you pray / wish / visualize / eat only celery this will go away.
  

there are these fascinating string of discussions on the subject of charities that offer treats, trips, gifts and just jolly good experiences to kids who are sick. These fascinate me.

The most well known of them is, of course, the Make a Wish Foundation referred to on the lists as MAW. It is appropriate. The politics of the MAW seem to bring mature parents to the edge of the abyss. See, unlike those shows you see on TV, to qualify for MAW kids do not have to be on death's door. The door could just be bigger or less blurry than for other kids. Those who may qualify are those who have "a life-threatening medical condition" and ages between 2. 1/2 and 18 at the time of referral are potentially eligible for a wish. But MAW seems to have different qualifying standards in different areas so while one child would qualify with a 'garden variety' critical aortic stenosis requiring a Ross procedure in another area you have to have HLHS or transplant.

Parents have to wrestle with other decisions. When to apply for charitable fun? If you apply when they are a young child they don't get as much input and may not have as much fun. But what if they really are going to get sick, too sick to go? You don't want to miss it? Or alternatively, what if they are going to get well... to well to qualify? You don't want to miss it?

Also, your child may qualify for a wish or a trip or, as I learned today - a swim with a dolphin - but you may feel icky about it. Being in mortal danger is not something to be desired and many of us with 'healthy' kids with CHD's are not eager to rock the boat and enter the realm of the newsworthy even if they qualify because of the inherent risk their condition poses.

No sirree.

So, unfortunately, we will not be swimming with dolphins anytime soon - for free or otherwise. But I am dreaming about Hawaai at the end of the year and wondering whether we could just live without a deck for a long long time in order to maintain a healthy holiday fund.