Those UGH Moments

Ugh.

Tomorrow is our monthly cardiac clinic appointment so I am starting to get antsy. To make matters worse, while I was changing Wren's diaper this morning I noticed that there is a red bumpy rash around his left leg cath site. There is also a clear fluid oozing which looked a bit like infection.

I called the on-call cardiologist (Dr MacMillan) who recommended we take him to the ER to have blood tests for cellulitis. Then she changed her mind and said we could monitor him for fever, draw a line around the red area and make sure it doesn't spread and keep it clean. They can check tomorrow at clinic to see whether its just irritation, fungal or infection. She also asked me to check with our pediatrician.

The on-call pediatrician said I could take him to after-hours clinic at Childrens but their schedule is full for the day. She didn't recommend the ER because of risks of infection. So, we could take him to Overlake or wait till tomorrow. We are going to watch a bit longer and if he looks sick or it grows bigger we will get him seen somewhere.

Great. This has to be a weekend and in the middle of flu season.

So some days I feel that Wren is doing A-okay and is pretty much normal right now but then others I worry about him. Today is a worry day. Side by side with other babies Wren is so normal. He looks great on the outside but little things get in the way of complacency.

This week at our Listening Mother's meeting the facilitator did a "check in with your baby" meditation. We are instructed to match our baby's breaths for a few minutes. Um. right. Wren has a very fast base respiratory rate because of his heart. If I breathed like him I'd hyperventilate very fast.

So, I am watching him. He's sleeping in the swing and seems pretty happy and unfevered. At least this added concern has given me a reason to want Cardiac Clinic to come faster.