Frost's Valentine to Wren

Dear Wren...
I think you are funny
and you love your bunny.
I think your the best
but somtimse...
... your a pest!!!

FROST age 7

mushroom chicken tubing

Sorry I haven't posted recently. Things seem to have been a bit hectic at home. We are in a rut of Frost-playdate-strut-eat-candy-draw-limits-Wren-yelling-cook-dinner-playduplo etc.

I am a bit frustrated by it.

However, I have just spent 20 minutes sampling coffee with the Zoka staff and I am feeling better. Its very like wine tasting. I learned all about the beans and how they are prepared. Then I learned how to inhale the freshly prepared espresso from a spoon. You have to slurp it very noisily into your mouth to aerosolize it without it hitting the back of your throat. Then you spit it out into a cup. Some coffees were very smoky, others were sour. It was quite informative. I feel gratified to have had this experience - if I come away with two new obsessions from my time in Seattle it would be appropriate that they are mycology and coffee.

I think as a parent you have to have an activity, a life beyond the needs of kids even if it is something you share with them like birdwatching or mushrooms. It needs to be something you really like for itself not because it keeps the children happy/educate/out of your way.

Along these lines, tomorrow we are going to the farmer's market to buy a shiitake mushroom log (and leeks, coriander, potatoes, etc). Its not really a log. Its a a compressed stump like thing innoculated with shiitake spores. I have told Frost that if he buys the log I will buy shiitake from him - for $4 a punnet. I think he is interested in them growing but not in eating them.

Wren is quite excited by our plan to buy chickens to live in the garden. He loves the neighborhood chickens (there are 3 coops we visit). We are going out to Stanwood to buy a coop on Sunday afternoon and chickens will follow. We will be looking for a house-sitter if we go on Vacation - to watch 2 cats and 2 chickens!

Tomorrow we are going snow tubing at the Snoqualmie Summit. Frost is very excited but Wren is just worried. He is quite anxious at the moment - in particular he hates his snow coat, the thought that I might give him a bath or the idea I may wash his hair.

Troublesome kids books

Every now and then I come across a kids book that makes me flinch. Sometimes its easy to put it aside and say "this is not for me" [like that book Mum gave us about how nice Polite Elephants Behave. All the badly behaved elephants were my kid]. But its not always as clearcut. Some contemporary classics of the children's books scene have me going "what?" and either rephrasing or being left with some puzzlement. Here are the best of the best:

The Rainbow Fish
This is a little story about a beautiful shiny scaled fish that lives under the sea. For some reason unexplained in the story, this fish has lost its school and is living with a different species of fish. The fish in the neighborhood covet its pretty scales but it doesn't want to wrench off parts of its body so they refuse to play with it. In its loneliness it seeks the counsel of wise underwater creatures who counsel it to rip off its most lovely scales and give them to the different species of fish. These fish manage to incorporate the DNA and look pretty. Once they look the same they let him play and everyone is 'happy' [aka, the same]. As the author, Marcus Pfister, puts it:

Soon all the fish came, and the Rainbow Fish gave away his scales, one by one. Finally he had only one shining scale left. But now, as he swam off to play with his friends, he was the happiest fish in the sea.

Friends? Give me another. I guess this means you have to give of yourself until you reach the lowest common denominator. God forbid he gave away the last scale and was shiny-scale-less while his 'friends' had one. Who knows what would have happened then.

I hate this book.

The Runaway Bunny - Margaret Wise-Brown
This is a classic American storybook. The story is beautiful and had sweet and witty pictures of a little bunny trying to develop his independence despite his mother's inability to separate and give him any space. This woman needs a life! Her possessiveness doesn't emerge straight away. At first you think that she is just being loving but after a while the malevolent stalker version emerges:

"If you become a fish in a trout stream," said his mother, "I will become a fisherman and I will fish for you." [illustrated with a tiny bunny swimming towards a hook baited with a carrot]

Hello? What happens when a fish takes a lure? The real clincher of the book is when the bunny tries tranmutation into a sailboat:

"If you become a tree," said the little bunny,
"I will become a little sailboat, and I will sail away from you."

"If you become a sailboat and sail away from me,"
said his mother, "I will become the wind
and blow you where I want you to go."

There, she lays it all out. Its about getting the baby bunny to do what she wants and stay with her forever. There is one word for that "Therapy" [his or hers]. I always change the words on that page at least to "blow you where you want to go."

We're Going on a Bear Hunt - Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury
I love this book, really, but it puzzles me. Its clearly written in England or some other country in which bears are more mythical and less real-big-dangerous-animal because its not really so amusing to stalk a grizzly bear and have it chase you home into your house and maul your door. That's not what I hold against it. My problem is that its in that class of kids book in which the family relationships are blurred. I bet there is some child psychologist out there who will tell you that kids don't need as much clarity as us adults, that they are more concerned with family dynamic and the role of the kids but as the reader it bugs me.

There is a dad and a toddler who is carried and two smaller siblings who could be twins (boy, girl) but then there is this inbetween girl. Is she a kind of teen mother or a teenage elder sister? I am always trying to figure this out. On page 2 she looks like a child (small nose) compared to dad (large nose) but when they cross the river she looks like an adult. She helps the kids take off their shoes while Dad just sits like a lump and contemplates the mud but then she reverts to a child in the forest scene. She hugs Dad at the cave entrance with some ambiguity and when they rush home to bed there is no mum and she looks quite old again. ARGH.

Along these lines is Max and Ruby by Rosemary Wells in which the bunnies seem to live alone without interference of parents or Child Protective Services. What happened to their parents? Were they eaten by a rhino? And why is Granny living up the road if there are no parents? I really feel for Ruby forced to bring up her younger brother who so clearly has issues already.

General News
Now that I have got that out of my system, we are all well. I am still upset by the awful situation in Victoria, Australia. However we are doing ok. The shots went smoothly yesterday despite a lot of apprehension when the nurse arrived (crying) and little apparent benefit from the Emla. I shall be checking the dose and application with the doctor.

The good news is that Wren has gained 13 ounces in one month. Of course my first thought was swelling but he has no edema and looks healthy. That may mean he is doing ok heart-wise. It is certainly not a bad sign! I have noticed that he has grown a lot recently because I have started to put the side of the crib down before taking him out and letting him climb into his carseat alone.

He now weighs 28lbs 6 oz.

Frost is also well but was in trouble tonight when he was caught lying to Joshua about sneaking candy from the cupboard. I have been trying to cut back candy to weekends only but he resists. He has started to play Josh and I off against each other, play dumb when it suits him and create untruths or half-truths which he almost makes himself believe. He was punished by receiving no desert and a stern talking-to.

Terrible Fires in Australia

My mother has started a blog about her life in the Adelaide Hills of SE Australia. There has been an awful heatwave in SE Australia with temperatures at their home of up to 114 degrees and 117 degrees in Victoria. Local wildlife (koala and birds) have been suffering and she sent out some pictures of a few koala they have helped or even saved by putting out birdbaths of water.

The latest news is that the heatwave has lead to a terrible outbreak of fires in the next state. I lived in Melbourne for a number of years (and it was where I found out I was pregnant with Frost) and I recall times when we had fires in the Dandenongs (hills outside the city). Fires are very hard on people and animals and we we can only hope they are brought under control soon.

Source: The Age

Check out Mum's Blog if you want to hear about life in the Adelaide Hills. Here is a preview picture she took of a mother and baby koala drinking at the birdbath. It is very rare to see a koala drink as they usually receive all their moisture from leaves and dew.



Update
It is now thought that up to 200 people may have died in the fires. The count is currently at 108 and fires are still burning.

Synagis with Emla tomorrow

Tomorrow afternoon Wren is scheduled for his Synagis shot. I have a tube of prescription cream from our pediatrician which is to be used an hour before the shot so it does not hurt.

The information I received from the pharmacist was "apply 1 hour before the shot".

Ho hum.

I read the online instructions and it appears to be more complex. I am to apply ONLY to the spot that will be used for the injection. I should apply a dollup and then seal the area with an occlusive dressing so Wren does not mess with it. I should not allow the medication to be in contact with the skin for more than 4 hours - so effectively once the time for the shot comes I should wipe it off and clean the site so the cream is removed.

The shot is scheduled for 2.30pm-3.30pm

Wren naps from 12.30pm - 2.30pm

When can I apply the damn cream?

I guess I should try and get him to nap early, ask the nurse to confirm her arrival time around midday and then put the cream on based on the most current information. I also need to aquire a big bandaid that seals a bit better than our scooby doo ones.

Ugh. I wish it was a bit easier.

Its only goose poop

Last Saturday I dragged Frost and Wren out birdwatching at Union Bay Slough. I took Wren there a few weeks ago and have since decided Frost should be required to come on semi-family outings [semi-family is when I take the kids out] rather than hanging at home while Daddy gets his 9 hours after "I went to bed at 3am" shut-eye.

This has proven to be a great success and would have been even better if I had dressed Frost myself rather than allowing him to follow his own judgment. For both outings (to Farmers Market and Union Bay) we have had to return home prematurely to avoid death due to hypothermia. Last week, Frost did not bring gloves, a hat or another layer under his coat and I had to patch him up with my own fleece vest, a spare hat I found in the car and one Little Hottie hand warmer.

I let Frost use the binoculars to find birds and at first he found it very frustrating. He yelled:

Damn it. This is impossible. Its like trying to point a Wii remote at a bird!!!

After a while he finally saw the bird which Wren had been yelling at too. Wren was yelling:

It is him. Redwingbackbird. There is it!

"Its like trying to point a Wii remote at a bird!"

We walked around the trail to the waterfront where we saw 100s of over overwintering birds on Lake Washington as well as a group of 5 or 6 trumpeter swans. They were pretty hard to make out with our small binoculars but we chanced upon a birdwatcher with a Leica spotterscope who lowered the tripod almost to the ground to let Frost see through. With his equipment we could see the black beaks and glide of the swans among some Canada Geese. The birdwatcher was very excited as were some women cyclists doing some off-roading who also came over.

Frost was quite exhilarated with binocular use after getting some practice. I explained that birdwatchers were like spies - they had much of the same equipment (spotterscopes, binoculars, microphones and notebooks) and had to learn to be very sneaky and creep up quietly to see birds. He set off alone a great distance (which is where Union Bay Slough is great for kids - it is so open that they can go a fair way off alone without the parent freaking out - to stalk coot. Wren tried to follow and became bogged in the watery sedge so I had to recover him but despite some conflict over use of binoculars everyone had fun and felt important.

After stalking coot Frost and Wren observe a little pond.

Eventually Frost told me:

I have worked out a technique for using binoculars. You find a MARKER. Like I see that gazebo over there and I find it and I know the birds are below the gazebo so I look down and find them.

I congratulated him and said that was exactly what adults and professionals do.

We saw the following birds without even trying to do any identification or sneaking: Canada Goose, Great Blue Heron, merganser, trumpeter swan, coot, bufflehead, red-wing blackbird, robins, northern shoveler and a large hawk.
Frost explains to Wren about beavers and says they are "very lucky" to find this tree almost eaten up.

Wren and Frost both saw a beaver-gnawed tree which Frost considered a rare find. They were both concerned by the abundance of goose poop in the grass. At times, Frost refused to walk for fear of stepping in the poop and Wren stopped from time to time to ask:

What is this stinky stuff?

To which I had to give the reassuring answer of "its only goose poop".

What is this stinky stuff? Asks Wren while examining goose poop.

Hairdressing "in this economic climate"

My hairdresser let me go home like this today. Its called The Express Service and costs half the price for foils or a color. I love it. He did a cut AND color in 45 minutes and saved me time and money. I got to catch up on Top Chef while eating lunch on the couch with my glam look before my "ting-ger" went off for TIME UP and I washed it out.



Joey said he doesn't do The Express for people who want "a radical change in style" or "for timid people" who might be "anxious" washing it out themselves but otherwise its a great option.

Did I say "I love it?"

I like the color now too and I like not having a blow dry. I have always thought blow dries should be reserved for brides and television appearances but that is because I see no point in looking super sleek for 30 minutes when I don't blow-dry at home. The real test of a Mom in the Trenches haircut is that it can drip dry and still look super.

EDITED to add the AFTER shot.

Scoliosis in Heart Kids?

One of the best online communities for discussion of CHDs is the TCHIN List - called PDHeart. You subscribe and receive emails as singly or in a digest. The list is large and at times busy but I learn a great deal from other families, many of whom have older kids who have similar issues to Wren's. Of course, there is misinformation so I try and check our things which come up.

This week, an email came through my inbox about a girl who has had surgeries like Wren's - a thoracotomy repair of a coarc and a midline sternotomy for sub-aortic stenosis. She is now 14. Her mother shared that she has recently been diagnosed with scoliosis:

I took her to a Scoliosis doc on Friday, and they very calmly told me thatshe has non-rotational non-idiopathic scoliosis (10% upper and 20% lower in the
oppositedirection ) that's a result of her heart surgeries.

They told me that about 35% of the kids that have heart surgeries develop scoliosis.

I'm very frustrated! No one told me to watch for this! ... I have never seen this in anything I have read about CHDs, and...I feel that if I had known about this, we could have kept it from becoming this bad. [When] she goes back to her cardio ...I intend to ask about it then, esp.whether it really affects this many CHD kids. Its a specific kind of scoliosis - shifting out to the sides, not twisting of the spine.Apparently it has something to do with scar tissue restricting upwardgrowth of the spine.

I know that Izzy has scoliosis but I thought that might be something to do with Phaces, not OHS. I will be asking our pediatrician to look into this but meanwhile, has anyone else heard about this association?

Frost climbs a wall

The kids have been doing climbing as a school activity this month. Last year during this rotation Frost climbed about 5ft off the ground but he has been far bolder this year. He asked me to post some pictures of him climbing the wall last week. He wants Granny "and all the blog people" to see how high he climbed.





Frost has not been doing so much climbing out of the gym but he loves to throw his body into jumps and leaps and obstacles. Its amusing to watch Frost moving around U-village - it reminds me of footage of parkour where people move through the city environments like monkeys. He leaps off walls, crawls through bike stands and swings around trees. Wren has noticed this and copies him - kicking bushes, hopping and ducking under and around fences. I should film them sometime.

The Endless Fascination of the Zoo Penny Drop

At the end of our zoo visit yesterday Wren had 20 pennies to roll down the penny drop at the East Gate. He spent a long time sending them down.