Wren has a cavity (and that's bad)

You know you're in trouble when the dentist talks about "A Treatment Plan." 

A few days ago, I noticed that Wren had a gray spot on a molar.  I suspected it was a cavity.   Joshua objected when I sat on Wren and tried to investigate the area.

"Stop doing alien experiments on him" he said.

So, I booked a visit to the dentist for Wren since we all know that most alien abductions originate in dental trauma.

Really, its too absurd.  Since Joshua wrote down the family goal of "no cavities" under Health and Fitness, we are an ongoing dental calamity.  We have probably spent a frugal holiday to Hawaai in dental bills.  Joshua, has required a root canal and re-crown.  He also needs his wisdom teeth removed.  Frost has cracked his retainer and Wren now needs one (or more) cavities filled.

The dentist wanted to get an x-ray of Wren's teeth but Wren was unable to do it.  He cried, became hysterical and gagged whenever she placed the film and bite in his mouth.  Mum, who had just arrived from Australia via Boston, was just in time for this trauma and was quite upset by it.

"Is this really necessary?" she asked.

"Yes, because its important to protect kids with heart problems from dental decay," I snapped.

Wren getting ready for the X-ray

After a while the dentist gave up and sent us home with an old film and bite to "practice".  Wren is going back for the filling on the 13th.

Rather ominously, the dentist said:

"when there is a visible filling like that one, where the tooth is a bit cracked, there are usually other invisible cavities.  We need to take a look and see what is going on.  In Heart Kids, we have to be careful.  I don't think we are in this situation now, but I want to see him soon to clean out that tooth and if the cavity is large, if it required work on the pulp, well.. the protocol with Heart Kids is to extract the tooth.  That is because if you do pulp work, which is like a root canal, some infectious material can get into the blood stream and its considered a risk.  So, we would extract the tooth and put in a spacer."

She is hoping we can practice putting the film and bite in Wren's mouth so that he can tolerate it for the 5 seconds required to get an X-ray next time.

What with the word e-x-t-r-a-c-t-i-o-n, the fear and hysteria about the x-ray and possibility of many more fillings required a Treatment Plan.

Harvest (of chanterelles)

Its mushroom season again.  For those of you not lucky enough to be stepping over mushrooms on your way to the bus-stop, the Pacific Northwest is one of the richest fungi-filled areas in the world and once the rains start, mushrooms abound. Wild mushrooms are harvested commercially and many amateur mycologists collect for personal use including prized chanterelles boletes, morels and even truffles.   Since moving here, I have been a member of the Puget Sound Mycological Society (psms.org) and have eaten various foraged mushrooms.  This week I ate shaggy lepiota (lepiota rhacodes) collected at Frost's school bus stop (I had to take the buttons because as soon as they emerged the slugs devoured them) and you may recall my bounty of morels from up the street.
Despite much fun and persistence identifying non-edibles, until this weekend I never found the kind of abundance of experienced hunters.

Now look at this.

See the glint in my eye

This is only one quarter of the amount I gathered with Wren and Tara in the forest near Deception Pass (while on a preschool camping trip).  It was very exciting.

Finding them was very much like a trail of breadcrumbs.  First I found one, then another and finally I was scrambling, creeping and crawling through the underbrush of salal, huckleberry and moss to find the next glowing patch.  We took them home and cooked some at Tara's for Phoebe's 18th birthday party and I cleaned mine and stored them in the fridge.  I have eaten a pile for breakfast and am thinking of drying some and keeping some for Mum, who arrives on Tuesday night.

It was actually morning but gloomy in
the forest.  See the chanterelles glow!

A particularly perfect chanterelle.  Picture taken by Wren.

Wren rolling out pasta for fettuccine

The mushrooms before cleaning.  See the family goals whiteboard
in the background and our wall of drawings.

We have also been harvesting rhubarb from the garden
because it had covered the path.  Mostly, I grow vegetables to
make a point not to eat ;)

Last weekend we looked for mushrooms at North Bend.   Here, Wren
'smooshes' an old pear shaped puffball to make it puff.

Wren cuts up an inedible mushroom to "DENTIFY IT"

Speaking of things dental.... I think Wren has a cavity.  There is a dull, dark spot between two molars which will not go away with brushing or flossing.  I must call the dentist on Monday.  To make matters worse, Frost's retainer 'broke' mysteriously this week.   Josh has just had a root canal.  Its all because we put down "no cavities" under our Health and Fitness Family goal.

Language is hard work

Driving Frost to Eve's for a playdate, we noticed a cement mixer down the street from us offloading.  One of our neighbors was at it landscaping, again.

"What is they doing with it?"  Wren asked.
"Remodeling the garden, no doubt." I opined.
"What is no doubt?" wondered Wren. "Is no doubt in the garden?"
"No, I meant... I am sure they are remodeling the garden."
"Oh.  Its remodeling." he nodded.
"No.. I meant, I-AM-SURE that they are remodeling.  No doubt is how I feel."
"Whaatt?   So, they have a feeling in the garden?"
"Um.  No doubt means that you are sure about something.  Like, I am sure they are remodeling the garden."
"Ooooh.  You are sure."

Yesterday, Wren hit a new stage.  He is suddenly happy (even though he had a fever).  He is bristling with ideas.  He wants to do things and write letters all the time.  He wants to WRITE MY NAME [although it looks like hieroglyphics except for the W which looks like M.

Wren is obsessed with mazes and drawing.  He traces paths through mazes with intense concentration.  He draws the same motif (a monster in flight with big wings) again and again calling it different names and making up different scenarios.  Sometimes it is a zombie, sometimes a dragon, sometimes A Bad Guy.

Right now I ask him what he is doing.

"I am having a battle with guys."
"What kind of guys?"
"Wild cats and creatures and stuff" he answers then falls back into quiet concentration in his room.

Breaking the rules

Last night, as I came out of my pilates class with over-extended achilles tendons, I noticed a silver Volvo waiting at the traffic light.  A dad was driving.  He had two kids in the back seats and a tiny child in the front seat. I couldn't even see its face, just the tuft of its hair as it wriggled around.  I found this oddly comforting.  Okay, sure, it was a heinous breach of US notions of safety but it was also a rare glimpse into the reality of family life.  We all fuck up.  We all break the rules.

We recently had a family meeting.  Now, in case this makes you feel defensive and compelled to sit your kids down to meet to keep up with us (hah!), relax.  This is our first Family Meeting in about 7 years.  Frost, Wren and I sat at the table in the kitchen and Joshua stood by a large whiteboard he had propped up across two chairs.

"What are our family values?"  asked Joshua who, I suspect, was recently subject to strategic planning at work.
"What makes you happy and is important to our family?" I paraphrased.
At this point, Frost mysteriously fell off his chair.  This happens to him from time to time, we are not sure how or why.  I blame it on inattention and goofing but it is alternatively tragic and funny.  This time it was just weird.   After he picked himself up and sat down again Frost said "I don't want Mum to yell at me and nag me and shout at me."

Joshua and I parsed this into the value of "Family Harmony."

"We must also do the LOVE thing," said Wren.  "Like, I LOVE to play D&D and I LOVE YOU."

Joshua added "and Love" to the first value.

"And I don't want you to pick me up on your shoulders," said Wren.

We defined that as to value of "Safety".  Discussion continued for a while until we had the following values:

Harmony and Love
Fun
Order (clean and tidy)
Safety
Health and Fitness
Friendliness (with others)
Financial Security (This is important to me because with global warming and the ensuing climate driven chaos our children will need cash to buy GOLD and GUNS to survive in the wilderness.)
Home Improvement (Josh added this... perhaps it should be Secure Home or something like that since improvement in itself is not a goal).

At this point Frost stood up and absently wandered from the room.

"Where are you going, Frost?"
"Oh, I don't know..." he said.
"Well, come back and participate!" I ordered [perhaps this was yelling].
He sighed and slouched down but did not actually fall over.

As a result of lots more implementation of our goals I have somehow agreed to have 24 family movie nights in a  year, read 6 chapters of a Pema Chodron book on "Working with Anger", Have FUN games, paint a dwarf Warhammer battalion and lose 15 lbs.

Isn't family goal setting great!

Anyway, however lofty our aspirations we probably all yell at times and sometimes sneak children places without proper restraint (but don't put them in the back of trucks like they do in South Africa) and try and eat Vegan at MacDonalds (oh, my, I actually felt guilty throwing away the MacDonalds cup while shopping at Whole Foods, I tried to crush it to obscure the logo).

Now, I have to run or I shall feel guilty about being late for Wren at preschool.

Quickly though:
Yesterday I was about to sneeze from the sun.  I get Sun Sneezes.  I said "I am going to sneeze!" and Wren immediately grimaced, turned away and covered his face.

"What are you doing?" I asked when the sneeze subsided.

"I don't want to hear and smell your sneeze" he explained.

Another funny Wrenism yesterday was with the large jawbreaker Wren has been sucking since a movie on Sunday night.  It is actually ALEX's jawbreaker, but he left it at our house and Wren took it, thinking it was Frosts.  Now we have harmony because Wren has been sucking Alex's for a day and Frost has his own.

However, Wren does not call these jawbreakers.  He calls them FACEbreakers.

"Where is my facebreaker?" he asks, hunting for the goopy remains of this size of a golf ball.

Wren in the car

I drove Frost to school on Friday.  On the drive in the car Wren and I had a 'conversation.'  Remember, I am driving and for the most part this requires that one is facing forward.  Wren does not appreciate this point but I hope you can. 

Wren:  Can I rip this?
Me:  I am driving.  I can't see what it is.  What do you want to rip?
Wren:  THIS
Me:  Tell me what it is so I can ... Frost, what does Wren want to rip.
[silence.  Frost is reading Signspotting and cannot hear me.]
Me:  FROST!!!
Frost:  WHAT!???
Me:  What does Wren want to rip?
Frost: The coupon book.
Me:  No, you can't rip the Chinook Book or it will be ruined.
Wren:  But I REALLY want to rip it.  This picture is a man jumping OUT.
Me:  I can't see the picture [I glance around] .. oh... the cover.  No, please don't rip that off.  Its the new Chinook book.
Wren:  I WANT TO RIP IT.
Me:   Why don't you rip something else?
Wren:  What can I rip?
Me:  [making one of those dangerous swoops to retrieve something from the floor while driving]  Here, rip this.  [I give Wren Frost's homework information which shows Six Strategies of Skilled Writers.]
Wren:  NO!  [crying] That is not good.  I want to RIP THIS!
[I am now about a second away from promising cookies if he stops wailing]

Me:  Why do you want to rip?
Wren:  I want to get it out.
Me:  What do you need to do ripping?
Wren:  Scissors!
Me:  Well, when we get home I will give you scissors.
Wren:  SCISSORS!

And this was only 5 minutes.  Seriously, Wren is very opinionated at the moment.

Fierce beasts to protect us

One of the interesting things about South Africa is that people see dogs as home protectors.  In addition to the high walls and electric fence, a few dogs patrol each garden.  The small ornamental breeds of dog are not as common there.  Instead you have Rottweilers, Rhodesian ridge-backs and lots and lots of German Shepherds (crossed with sharks) to produce fearsome looking predators. 

Today, Wren and I went down to the U-district to find a home protector of a different kind - a gargoyle!  Its Halloween season (although not quite decorating time) and the kids are getting interested in all things spooky.  Since the D&D phase, Wren has been very interested in gargoyles so he was intrigued when I told him there was a shop that sold them.

Josh said "Yes, and then you can have baklava at The Continental.  You must do it."

A plan was made.

The gargoyle shop is called Gargoyles and is very dark and cluttered with statuary.  The floor is dirty - in the sense that there appears to be dirt upon it - and has leaves lying around so it feels as if you are in the garden of a creepy old house.  The walls are black and in one corner a fountain gargoyle spouts water from its mouth.  Most of the gargoyles are made with resin but some are made from heavy cement and suitable for outdoor use.  I nearly bought an old ogre but instead took some pictures of likely home protectors (to go by our stairs on by the pathway).  We bought a few tiny little pewter gargoyles for halloween.  Wren loves them.

Why are you making me squint into the sun.  The
Sun is too hot and sunny.

The strange little ceramic creatures living
on a mossy stump in Ravenna.

And their gargoyle kindred.

This is the gargoyle I would like for our front wall.

Wren outside the gargoyle shop

More little guys on the parking strip

On the way home (by bicycle) we passed a home with a most splendid array of pottery 'personalities' on their parking strip.  Its one of those things that one or two would be kitsch but with abundance they are splendid and original.  Wren suggested we make some too.  Many of them were made from a basic form of clay rolled around a tin can.

Frost did Soccer camp this evening and had his first experience of a fierce macho firm-talking Coach.  "WHADDAYOU DOING LOOKING OVER THERE?  LOOKADME!"  and "YOU CAHN-DO THAT!  GOAL TO RED!" when Frost, on the sidelines, moved as if he was going to intercept the ball.

I am not sure what Frost makes of it.  It is a very different style to the inclusive, caring and parental coaching style which he has experienced to this point.  I saw him rubbing his eyes at one point but he was also very focused, quick, attentive and doing very well on many drills.  We shall have to watch and see where this leads.

"STOP!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"  he yells at them.  "WHADDUYOUTHINK I SAID?"

We are all wondering :)

High speed wobble

Its interesting how fast I deteriorate under the fast pace of modern motherhood.  The vacation in South Africa was like the crest of a gentle slope.  Up there, under the large leafed green trees, creaking around Dad and Ingrid's home getting all my food and laundry done for me, I was a relaxed and indolent vacationer who actually thought "what do I want to do today?"  

The languor survived about 4 days at home, days in which the laundry mounded, the food was make-do and there was no school.

Fast-forward a week or two and I am now careening downhill towards an unknown destination.  Every day starts with a brief moment of stillness and then I have this high speed wobble as I try and complete the innumerable THINGS TO DO that Don't Get Done By Anyone Else.

I'm not upset or anything, really.  This is a not a complainy-pants blog post.  Its a post to announce that the culprit is CULTURE not NATURE.   I am quite able to slow down and be languid.  I am not a stressed out twit by myself.  The stressed-out-twitness happens at the intersection of my personality (best described as Be Responsible, Wear Underpants and Don't walk around on Old Toast) and reality (easily referred to as Drive Me to X, Feed Me Y, and Pay Z).

Yesterday, the Driving was to Frost's annual pediatrician appointment where he is growing proportionally and both he and Wren had their flu "snorts" of Flumist.  Thankfully this year the "Swine Flu" vaccine is nicely packaged in the flu shot and since they had flumist last year there is really onely one flu vaccination required.  Yeah!

Also, Wren went to preschool and was slightly less sad when I left him.  He is not yet happy or anticipating it and asks "when is preschool done forever?"

Heather babysat last night and Josh and I went out for dinner to Volterra - a Ballard Italian restaurant which seems to be a bit obsessed with jowls.  Every second meal was "boar jowl" or "bull jowl" or something else jowl.  I guess animals have tasty cheeks?   The vegetarian option was tasty - it was little packets of pasta (like a 3-D ravioli) stuffed with eggplant in a puttanesca-style (not anchovy) sauce with a bit of a kick.   We shared a desert and it was too big for both of us!

Josh is still on the quest for a satisfying HOT COFFEE cocktail.  I think he means a hot toddy or a coffee with something alcoholic in it.  He had one but has not yet found nirvana.

Wren has been a bit miserable.  Josh and I talked about his anxieties, which seem to be mounting.  We are not sure whether he is 'nervous' about things because of his surgery causing some psychological damage or because he is a bit nervy by nature and is 3.  He is very concerned about:

1) dogs
2) baths
3) being carried on shoulders and,

cried out in alarm when Joshua picked him up to put him on a little ledge (ok, on an electrical box in the park and I was sitting on it too.  It wasn't the electricity (although he asked if it would go IN ME) )but the swooping pick up that alarmed him.

This morning, Frost is off to the orthodontist.  My main concern is to ask the orthodontist to please glue the retainer into Frost's mouth.  Or drill it onto his teeth.  He chews it around in his mouth all day, rotates it, flaps it. He says its because its loose and falls down when he opens his mouth but regardless it is the most irritating thing in the whole world to talk to a child who is flipping and chomping at his retainer with this click clack noise all the time.

Okay, perhaps I should ask the OD to 'tighten it' first.

Its light.  The first kid is awake.  If I am going to wash my face and clean my teeth this is the last moment open to me before the speed wobble takes over!

"Are we going to have breakfast, sometime soon?" asks Frost from the couch where he lies in the pants he wore yesterday (which he plans to wear today).   We are going to have to argue about it in about 6 minutes (after washing face etc etc).

The court is in session!

Pulse-Ox Screening for All Newborns

NEWS via PdHeart:

Dear Members,

It is with great joy and excitement that I am writing to
let you know that this afternoon, the Secretary’s Advisory
Committee on Heritable Disorders in Newborns & Children
(ACHDNC)voted to recommend that pulse oximetry screening
for critical congenital heart disease be added to the
newborn screening uniform panel!!!

The recommendation now gets passed up to Secretary Sebelius
for review and approval. We're almost there!

AnnaMarie Saarinen just called with the news. She has
worked tirelessly to advocate for early diagnosis and
screening and has effectively spearheaded this important
effort. You can follow her blogs on http://1in100.org

Thank-you AnnaMarie for your hard work and determination.
Thanks also to Dr Gerard Martin who REALLY listened to my
impassioned pleas and worked so hard to implement model
screening programs. I tearfully and joyfully post
Annamarie's message below:

"‎At 2:40 eastern time today, the national committee
on newborn screening voted to YES to recommend pulse
oximetry screening for critical congenital heart disease be
added to the newborn screening uniform panel. I don't even
know what to say right now...still in shock. Was not
anticipating vote until January. Have to hug Eve and have a
major cry right now. It's due time...all babies are finally
going to be screened before discharge. Policy priority #1:
DONE!!!!!"

This is indeed a red letter day for all of us.

Our voices are being heard and yes, we CAN make a
difference!

My love to you all,
Mona

Obsessed with the Boer War

I can't write blog posts or even watch TV.  I am obsessed with the Boer War - a war between the British Empire and the Dutch/Afrikaner 'Boers' at the end of the 19th C.   More particularly, I am obsessed with transcribing a diary kept by my Great Grandfather during his service among British forces in the Boer War.

The diary starts in September 1899 and I am now transcribing entries from mid December where he has just been placed in a unit manning a very big naval gun.

A page from the diary. 

It is exciting stuff but written in cursive with some quaint spelling and a distinctly old fashioned punctuation (they don't use many full stops or comma's, preferring dashes everywhere).  To further complicate my task, the diary was written in a carbon copy order book (probably from the book shop in Durban).  Each page is numbered (good) but in some areas only the carbon copies remain - the originals having been, perhaps, mailed or shared with others.  The remaining carbon has faded to the point of near illegibility and sometimes I puzzle for many minutes over a word or line.

To cover up my lack of blogging (nobody is complaining because my most loyal reader, my mother, is away at their beach cottage and my brother - according to Facebook - has LOST IT)  I shall offer up a few pictures to console you before returning to life with Wren and Frost (which is really fine, Wren doing okay at preschool but looking a tad "forlorn" according to Fred.)  I am not forlorn while he is at preschool so it kind of makes up for him being a tad sad.

Hluhluwe Game Reserve - September 5th 2010

Entering the park, you are warned about the dangers
of Elephants and ordered to remain entirely in the car
without arms poking out windows etc.

We liked the warning about elephants crossing
which they did at times.

 

Of course, pretty soon the Americans
had their heads out the window.

We watched this elephant for about 10 minutes while it ate most of this tree.
Elephants are very hungry (aka destructive) and tear down trees for practice (aka fun) even when
not that hungry.

This is a very cute baby zebra
until you realize it is peeing.  We started to say
that Wren was like a laxative for animals.
Whenever he was looking they would pee or poop
causing him a great deal of amusement.

This giraffe did not pee so Wren found it boring.

The first (white) rhino we saw.  These rhino were walking through
the burnt veldt which still had embers and small fires.

Wren has a odd expression because he is eating sweeties (candy)
He was often bribed with candy because he had to sit aroudn
for long trips in the car.  He also liked riding in the boot (trunk) and
not having to wear a seat belt!  God, I love seat belts.  Unbelted
children are a lot more of a nuisance!

This buffalo is pooping. Yes, really.

I just thought this was a really nice photograph.  My best pictures are of zebra because they are relatively
unconcerned by people and quite common.

The View from somewhere over something but no animals.  It was more often like this than the other pictures.

At picnic spots you can get out of the car and use the bathroom.
We saw nyala coming down to drink in the early
morning when we stopped at this river side picnic site.

.... and surprised some baboons eating seed pods on a tree.

We all love warthog.  When alarmed, their tails stick straight up like
aerials. 

First Day at Preschool

Today Wren started at his new preschool.  He was very apprehensive and worried about the details.  When I dropped him off he cried and stretched his arms out for me but I was firm and left.

Apparently he did 'well'.  I think that "well" might be preschool-teacher-speak for "he was freaked out but we didn't have to call you."

Going to preschool this morning.

He tells me he was sad and missed me but he had two friends who were girls and a boy and that the school has blue fairies and they bring them flowers and they give them things and they live in a tree but they had to dig up a tree to bring it inside for the blue fairies. 

Also, that they ate pasta for lunch and after lunch were allowed to have bread with honey.

And that it was TERRIBLE but ALRIGHT.

 The whole Waldorf experience has already had an impact on Wren.  He came home and went outside and spoke about fairies.  In the park this afternoon during Frost's soccer practice, Wren looked for trees where the fairies might live.

Also, he decided he was a dog and ran around with his tongue hanging out and picked up sticks from the ground with his mouth.  He also pretended to be a spider.  He says that they did not do this at preschool but I suspect that there was some bestial child at preschool who inspired him.

He never wanted to be a dog before?

This evening, Frost asked to help prepare dinner.  Apparently, his new teacher gives not too much homework and then allows them to do "alternative" homework including things like making dinner, doing sport and math or writing projects of their own devising.  I like this teacher.

Before the Dinosaurs we lived in Magnolia
At breakfast this morning, Wren asked me who built our house.

I explained that our house was built "long ago" by someone (1949) but Daddy and I built the kitchen.

Then Wren wondered how much it cost.  I told him it was a lot of money but we borrowed it from the bank.   He said "Before that you lived in a truck?"

"No," I answered "before that we lived in Magnolia.  You weren't born yet."

"Oh!" said Wren, everything now becoming clear.  "That was when the dinosaurs were still OUT."

"What do you mean, 'out'?"   I asked.

"Well, the dinosaurs were still out then" he repeated.   "Now they are gone 'stinct.  They DIED."

I wasn't quite sure where to go in the face of his bold compression of eras spanning millions of years into a scant decade.  Even creationism is not as bold.  Perhaps it is the power of the Waldorf Fairies.

Later, when I told Wren we are not going to buy something he wanted he suggested we "borrow the money from the bank."

Insurance / robbery update
Other good news is that Liberty Mutual is going to pay for both laptops and the camera stolen minus our $500 deductible.  That makes it a lot less than it could have been.  I am very impressed by them. I didn't have to fill in ONE FORM.  The cynic in me wonders whether our premium will skyrocket next year, but the service has been great so a small increase would be justified now that they know we are high-risk travelers to Africa.

Backlog of photos
Because of the loss of my laptop and the abysmal slowness of the local connection, I didn't get to post much about the last weeks of our trip.  I have a load of lovely pictures to which I am going to subject you.  Right now, I don't have time to write enough to do them justice but here are a few of the kids while at the Lodge in Hilltop Camp at Hluhluwe Game Reserve.  My many pictures of zebra will follow in the days ahead!

Wren, Frost and the Large Aloe

Frost climbs a tree in front of the lodge. 

The boys run down the road to the swimming pool.  This picture speaks to what is missing in a more ordered life.
I like the swimming pool being down a road by electric fence with bush-buck in the shrubbery and monkeys over
head.  This is the way it Should Be.