A butt on your forehead or feet on your chin?

It was sunny and hot so I took the boys down to Wild Waves water park, near Tacoma. It was an impulsive decision which worked out well because I didn't have time to bring a whole box of car-side refreshments for everyone or make sure we had 3 tubes of sunscreen and backup clothing. We just went and had fun.

They have a rule at Wild Waves that you can't bring your own food. On site, they sell junk food for inflated prices. The only vegetarian items on the menu are cheese pizza ($7) and fries ($5). Even the burrito bar is exclusively meat - chicken, beef or chicken AND beef are your options. So, despite the rule and my impulsivity, I threw in a lunchbox of marinated raw vegetables, quinoa and fruit for me and some snack bars for the kids. The security bag check asked us whether we had food and Alex said "no" with the most guilty look (he had lollipops and hemp bars) and I confessed to having a bottle of water (which explained the lump in the towels when he prodded them). I told the kids they could buy pizza later.

Alex said to Frost "but you can't eat pizza, you're a vegan!" and Frost explained that he was a vegan for everything except cheese pizza.

This is kind of funny because Frost is very fussy about pizza cheese - it has to be absolutely thin and attached. It should be bubbly and yellowish, not pure white, and it should never-never-never form a glop over the surface of the pizza and fall off as a fat-pancake or droop in greasy white ropes when you bite.

Of course, the $7 mini-pizza was all the bad things.

Frost scraped the cheese off and it lay in a gluey ball in the center of his paper plate while he ate the pizza crust with the tomato topping and said how good it was.

Wren was thrilled that he did not have to have meals today. At dinner, he chortled in delight and said to Josh that this was a lucky day because he did not have to eat dinner. Instead, he had various snacks and a large red lollipop from Alexander. All was well.

All was also well at the wave pool. I was worried that Wren would be, well, worried. But he wasn't. He loved the wave pool. He loved how shallow it was at the edges, the regularity of the waves, the easy taper of the shoreline into the deeper realm of splashing boys. At first we were too late to get a pool chair and had to lay our towels on the concrete bank so Wren was also thrilled by the chairs when we did get one and amused onlookers with his announcement that "this is the Best Day in the World and I am Cozy!"

Wren in the shallows of the wave pool.

Wren being cozy on the deck chair.

On the way home, while Wren took a break from saying "GUYS, GUYS!! Do you see XYZ" by napping, Frost and Alex read to each other from a book I bought them at Barnes and Noble yesterday. This book is utterly inappropriate for kids their age (containing many challenges which are only funny if you get their X-rated innuendo) and has led to questions like "Mom, what is phone-sex?" Still, the utter hilarity and seriousness with which they have addressed the others makes it all worthwhile.

The book is called Zobmondo!! Would you rather....? The outrageous book of bizarre choices. It includes things like:

Would you rather accidentally run over and kill your best friend's cat with your car

OR

be forced to eat a small poodle you have never met.

Ok, that was a bad one. Most are more innocuous and gross, like:

Would you rather have a small butt on your forehead

OR

two little feet dangling beneath your chin?

Frost and Alex could not stop laughing. Neither could they agree - sometimes having hysterical arguments about which would be worse, why, and how one could escape the situation (by cooking the earthworms? saving the cat? wearing a scarf on your head-butt?)

It was a good day.

New Hair

Wren could barely see out from under his bangs by the end of our camping trip. The reason I let it get so long is that he's afraid of anything to do with hair - hairwash, haircut. If it begins with hair its Bad News.

I booked him a haircut at Kids Cuts at U-Village - the only place that has cut his hair without leaving big chunks or only getting half completed before giving up. I didn't tell him it was haircut. We just went There.

When the hairstylist came out and called him in they had a conversation:

Wren: I don't like haircuts.

Hairlady: Oh, why not?

Wren: I don't like them.

Hairlady: Do you like toys?

Wren: I like them. I like guys.

Hairlady: Do you want to choose your own box? [they have toy boxes to use during haircuts]

Wren: Yes.

Hairlady: Do you want to sit in the red car or the yellow car?

Wren: The red car. No, the YELLOW car. No... YES. The Yellow car.

He sat down and I left him there and read a magazine and shopped the sale rack. It was very civilized. Here is the result. Wren is wearing a Beatles Shirt given to him by Tara and Alex. Wren calls them "the music people The Bugs."

4th July - Independence Day

I was born overseas, and like many immigrants I am very happy living here but still retain a sense of being Forrin. I talk funny, had my children's passports issued before they turned 1 and occasionally read about politics and society in places as inconsequential as Africa and Europe.

Thus, it is always a surprise to me that I have an AMERICAN child. Here he is dressed up for the little 4th of July parade held by friends' children in a nearby neighborhood. One of the families provided the props, ribbon, tape and flags and the kids decorated their bicycles and scooters before riding around the neighboring blocks a few times (with Wren pumping his little leg as fast as possible to keep up and me, bringing up the rear on foot and out of breath).

"Its the day that they signed the Declaration of Independence

from somewhere else."

Frost, Wren and Alex in patriotic pose

Frost adjusts Alex's headgear

The parade waits for its escort

Wren is prepared - carrying his snake on one arm.

The Fourth is all about fireworks (for Frost) and we had been making a few visits to a TNT Fireworks tent over the last week. We bought small fountains and smoke bombs and a few larger ones with ominous names like Purple People Eater and Serpent. Frost lit off a few during the day with Elias.

A small smoke bomb

A fountain at the playing field

Alex dances in the smoke from his 'grenade'. He spent all his

money on 5 grenades with string pulls that made clouds of smoke.

Various friends and neighbors gathered to watch.

Although Wren was apprehensive and watched from some distance,

hugging his soft shirt for safety.

After the fireworks in the park we returned home quite cold to find Joshua had made a whole cherry pie from scratch. It was fabulous. Really, the pastry was one he found online and had odd ingredients like vodka in it - it was light and flaky and crumbly. We have eaten it

Wren makes Soup

Its the 4th of July and we have already have 3 fireworks 'sessions' with small fountains and fizzing things. Frost and Alex are ecstatic - Frost could barely sleep last night in anticipation.

However, I am not yet ready to post details of the fire-worthy events. Instead I bring you another very pixelated blurred Youtube video - of Wren cutting vegetables for soup. Wren has wonderful dexterity. He is very confident cutting shapes with scissors and I was so impressed with his meticulous cutting that I filmed it.

I didn't just offer Wren a sharp knife one day. He was trying to "help you cut vegetables" but the safe blunt knife was ineffective. I realized that if he was going to cut anything firmer than bananas it was necessary to use a sharper knife. So, I showed him how to use one of my real kitchen knives. He was very careful and cut them all up.

Wazza your a mad dude! (3 year olds at the skate park.)

A few days ago I took Wren (3) and Leo (smaller 3) to the park with their scooters. They both wanted to scoot the skate park so we spent 45 minutes with them going back and forth taking various lines and routes.

In the beginning, they were alone. Since the first time at the skate-park, Wren has been anxious about going up and down the slopes at the end. He has had a serious concern that he would roll "up the wall" if he scooted near it so it was very reassuring for him to see Leo go up ramps and up the wall a bit and not fall over or roll up it to the sky. After a few minutes he was doing it himself for the first time.

Wren and Leo scoot like dudes

Feel the attitude, dude!

Pretty soon, a small boy arrived with his skateboard. I thought he was 5 years old but he told me he was almost 7 years. He was amazing. He could do tricks, flick the board and jump on it, make curves up the wall, go down stairs and various other impressive feats. I asked him whether his Mom or Dad skated and he said no, he had two Moms and neither skated but he had got his first board when he was "4 or something." I need to get Wren started soon if he is going to be like 'Sammy' but I am not sure it would be quite good for him - since Sammy had many bruises on his knees and had a daredevil attitude.

After Sammy, a boy who looked about 11 years old came up on his bicycle. It was one of those BMX style bikes that can turn on a dime. He obviously didn't approve of the little boys scooting around since they were often in his way. I told him they would not be much longer but it wasn't entirely the truth.

Between Sammy, the BMX and another skateboarding tween, Leo and Wren started to witness a few falls. After seeing the falls they decided that it was a necessary part of the scoot/skate arena and began to stage their own dramatic crashes. At first, I was afraid, and kept running up saying "are you all right?" They would like in a frozen tableau, face down or carelessly strewn against a ramp or wall (where the other boys had fallen). Then, after being noticed, they would stand up and say "I hurt my knee" or something similar. Leo gave me a particular fright because I thought he had blood on his knee. He told me it was "just raspberries".

A dramatic (faux) accident.

Leo carefully stages a high impact head plant

A speedy race to the next ramp (accident zone).

I hope to take Frost along with the skateboard some morning before the bigger boys arrive. He is quite cautious and has had barely any practice with the skateboard. He needs some time when he is not under observation / feeling competitive to play around on the skate park and get a feel for the board. I bet that Wren will want one if that happens.

If a crow licked Red dye #40 it might DIE

This afternoon I took the boys, and our friend Alex, to the TNT Fireworks tent at Lynnwood. It was very hard to hold them to our $40 budget and there was lots of discussion about the effects, implications, necessity and desire for various fireworks. We ended up with tanks, a command vehicle, 6 laying chickens, some shooting balls, a whizzing UFO, a flying panda and various green smoke bombs.

We were well satisfied but Alex says he is coming back to buy 5 smoke grenades and Frost wants to return with the coupon (which we left) and his allowance (which he left).

On the way home the boys asked for Gatorade. We only have Gatorade because Frost learned some facts about sports drinks at soccer camp and I promised to buy him one at Safeway. The wise marketers only sell them in packs of 8 so I have 7 bottles of Gatorade in the fridge. I said they could share one, suffered insane nagging and guilting and said again they could share one. They acquiesced and then had this conversation:

Alex: I hope its not red Gatorade. That stuff kills you. It has Red Dye Number 40.

Frost: No, its Orange. It has natural flavor in the orange.

Alex: But even if its orange it can have red dye number 40 IN IT for the color!

Frost: Yeah, the color.

Alex: Red dye number 40 is really poisonous!

Frost: Yeah, all dyes over #30 are really toxic!

Alex: Well, #40 is the worst! It can kill .... like, small animals. Like animals that shouldn't eat it.

Frost: If they licked some Red Dye #40...

Alex: Woah, you can't get just pure Red Dye #40! Its in stuff... if it was pure!

Frost: If it WAS though..

Alex: If an animal tasted it... like, if a crow licked it it would get very very sick. It might die!

Frost: If Pablo [Alex's dog] tasted it he could die.

Alex: THAT SUCKS!

Frost: You could sue the Red Dye #40 company.

Alex: No, you could sue Gatorade.

Frost: But they shouldn't use it. Its not made for human consumption!

Alex: It is! They USE it.

Frost: Well... who INVENTED it.

Alex: Thomas Edison :) Elvis Presley?

Frost: HAHAHA

Alex: My sister once said "Who invented the light bulb" and I said Elvis Presley!

Frost: Maby like, Elvis died of Red Dye #40 because he was addicted to junk food and when he died his waist was like
WHOPPING.

Alex: And he drank alcohol too and drugs. Like drugs that make you sick.

Frost: Hey, want to drink a glass of Red Dye #40?

Alex: Want a glass of gasoline? Want a glass of M1H1?

Frost: No, its M1N1.

Alex: N1H1?

Me: What are you talking about?

Frost: You know, swine flu.

Me: Oh, N1H1.

Alex: Yeah, I have a joke about that. "people in the city said that pigs can't fly but a few years later, swine flu!"

Frost and me: HAHAHAH

Camping at Lake Chelan State Park

It takes my family at least a week of 'civilization' to recover from camping. They want to stay up until the stars come out (10pm anyone?), eat pickles for breakfast, walk barefoot and have playdates every day. Meanwhile, everything smells of woodsmoke, the younger child thinks its alright to sleep in your bed, the elder one likes to sleep in his clothes and there is a sense that bathing is optional (because surely the clean-wild-air has washed our skin with its vapors?).

Equally, it takes me at least a week to recover any sense of urgency about the mess, the (surely) rotting teeth, the need for good boundaries and adult intervention in matters of dispute. I want it all to flow as seamlessly as mobs of children running from tent, to table, to playground, to beach. Messy, carefree, brutish ...and outdoors.

We have been camping at Lake Chelan State Park for 3 nights. It was great.

Thus, you find me with a mountain of laundry downstairs, somewhere. I don't care exactly at what stage it is. There is some kind of sticky substance adhering my right forearm to the desk. I can imagine it is old hot chocolate, melted marshmallow or perhaps simply glue from the pasting of Frost's 9th birthday invitations. I have not wiped it up. There are bags of strange camping implements that are surely essential to something. I have not inquired. Finally, I have not been organized enough to take pictures, retrieve them and make a blog. I have had to call my mother and have a long telephone debrief about our trip to assure her we are alive. I have had to impart news verbally - you know spoken words, on a landline, to Australia!

The horror.

So, in case I haven't called you yet. Here is where we went (courtesy of Google):

You can see from the blue line on the map that we drove from Seattle through the mountains (Stephens Pass) and down to Wenatchee. Even on the satellite image the color of the land tells its story - the mountains are a deep wet green but as you descend into Eastern Washington the earth becomes brown and then ochre and then the color of ash. The pale hills are broken with patches of brilliant green irrigation - the orchards and vineyards of the region. Where it isn't farmed there is scrubland with deep carved rivers and canyon-like valleys from the passage of old glaciers. The evergreens are dark like iron and in some parts it reminds me of South African inland landscape - hot dry hills under bright blue skies.

Road Trip: Lake Entiat below Chelan

For the first night I was alone with the boys. The campsite was near a grassy clearing and they were both very helpful then played lego while I set up camp. Yes, we took the Lego minifigs with us.

To show that we were on vacation, they ate candy after dinner and had hot chocolate. Frost was very impressed with the blueness of his tongue. You can see our tent in the background. It is a 4 person tent and barely fits all four of us with rolling around room. I fear that we will need to have two tents in a few years or go all-in for the huge tent like Trina.

The next day, the nerf gun, Josh and our friends arrived: Tara, Alex, Phoebe, Fred and Pablo (the pug), Trina, Trey, Ezra, Isaac, Joe and Julianna and also my neighbors Lauren and Elias. It was a lovely group of friends, especially happy for the five boys who are of a similar age and for Wren who thinks he is 8, almost.

Of course, Wren had to possess the nerf gun which shot bullets about 15 feet with the correct action. He managed to get his hands on it when the boys went to play putt-putt with Fred. I think this picture is hilarious. If only I had an American flag and a dead deer next to him you'd think I had gone all survivalist. Interestingly, Wren did tell me that he wants to eat dead chickens again. I said we are not going to eat them because they live very badly but he said that our chickens do not live badly. I am not sure whether he wanted to go and eat our chickens or if it was just the next train of thought but he did insist on eating Trina's salami even knowing it was a dead pig. The child has conviction.

"Do I have to be a vegetarian if I kill me a deer?"

Wren loved the tent. Whenever he felt anxious due to rain, dogs, weariness - he went into the tent to snuggle. He slept very well - waking at about 7.30am each morning despite the 5.30am sunrise, Frost's proximate peeing, and the dawn cacophony of birds and squirrels. Note the dirt on Wren's face. Fred kept trying to wipe him down but only succeeded at Slide Waters the next day.

The lake was icy and it wasn't very hot (high 70s) for much of the time. Still, the bigger boys did a lot of swimming - the wetsuits helped. We bought an inflatable boat and raft which added to the excitement for them and helped them keep out of the water and still be on it which was only partially successful. At the end of one afternoon swim the boys lips were blue.

Tara at the swimming beach in the park.

Wren, disguised so the gigantar zombie can't find him.

Wren is at a stage of talking ALL THE TIME. Its enough to make my head spin around and around to the sounds of a creepy orchestra. His major theme is to imagine an epic battle in which he defeats something huge and evil. In this picture (above) he was defeating Gigantar Zombies from Plants versus. This morning he imagined a quest involving the "Destiny Sword to kill the Goblin Boss." I believe he won. His weapon was a sword made out of tinkertoy, in fact he has been shooting dogs with it all day. He says it is "Imagination shooting not real."

Back to Chelan - one day we went to the nearby waterpark called Slide Waters. Here is a classic shot of Fred with the NY Times Magazine on the lawn.

Applets and Cotlets

On the way home from Chelan (a 4 hour trip) we took a Factory Tour at the Applets and Cotlets factory in Cashmere. It was 91 degrees under brilliant blue so it was a relief to enter the air conditioned store and taste the samples. Tara and I were thrilled to discover that the founders were actually Turkish and still sell the original (classic) Turkish Delight. We both bought a few boxes as well as some curiosities like popping corn on the cob, sour applets and cotlets and long stretched taffy.

Alex and Frost go undercover as tourists

Wren peek-a-boos Tara with his hairnet

Overall, we had a wonderful vacation and hope to do it again next year. Lake Chelan State Park is not a backwoods place. Josh found it a bit tiresome (preferring mountain retreats with few people) not surprising since I have described the camp site as the Disney Version of car camping. Fred said "This is like camping in your back yard". For $6 per day you can even get wifi in your tent and I saw some people sitting on the back side of the store toilet block powering up their laptops from some exposed power points.

Be that as it may, its not bad to have a easy camping trip. Its in a new area (for us) and the kids had a great time. Wren and Frost both want to repeat the visit and I hope to do it again too.

Sailing

This afternoon, I took Frost to the Mt Baker boat center for an Introduction to Sailing class. It was cold, drizzling, foggy and slightly calm. It was not ideal weather. There were another couple of participants - a Kiwi (Louie) and his son Jack (7). It was a good match for us. Louie had done hobie sailing in New Zealand and of course I grew up with various sailboats. Our instructor was Max, a college student from the area who grew up sailing in Miami.

With all the sailing enthusiasts having come from warmer climes I started to wonder about the wisdom of cold-water sailing. Still, we rigged and climbed into a fairly large sailboat - I think it was a Flying Fifteen or something similar. We sailed out slowly and then had some fun reaches across the Lake where the wind picked up through a cut past Seward Park. Frost was very cold and looked apprehensive. He was very quick to react when I gave him advice and most upset when I quickly grabbed the tiller to avoid a jibe. He was listening carefully to what to do (keep the tiller centered) but wasn't able to check on our direction and make corrections.

Since it was his first ever sail in a boat this was pretty good!

Our instructor recommended the 420 class as the best family boat. Apparently it is 2 handed boat but sails well with kids once they are 12 or so. It goes fast and is widely used as a college race boat.

Unfortunately, they don't have these at the UW boathouse but I think that Frost will enjoy Laser sailing with me once I get rated there.

Fight big lizard with your claws

While he has been sick Wren has enjoyed a few "screen times" not rated for 3 year olds. One of these was Godzilla Tokyo SOS.

The movie has gripped Wren's imagination and he keeps wanting to fight big lizard with weapons, trap big lizard, be a driver INSIDE a bad big lizard (mecha-Godzilla). Here is yesterday's battle:

Wren: Bye-bye. I am going to fight evil lizard with my claw.

Me: Bye. Good luck.

Wren: I am going in my car [he is sitting in a blue plastic car in the garden]. YOU came in my car too. You are also in the lizard garden.

Heading off to fight mecha-Zilla with the claw on top

Me: Oh, ok. Are you going to defend me? [I am weeding the herb garden]

Wren: I will get a bomb to fight Mecha-Lizard-Zilla but NOTHING WILL MAKE HIM DIE. NOTHING EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER. NOTHING NOTHING.

Wren walks around menacingly chanting "Mecha-Godzilla" under his breath.

Wren: Mecha-Godzilla is still alive se we have to get him.

He throws a shoe onto the lawn.

Wren: I need to get some SACRIFICE.

[He carves between the slats on the deck with a popsicle stick, sawing and carving.]

Wren: You get your knife. You throw it at him BUT HE NEVER DIES! Mummy, come. Can you get under the deck?

Me: No, I am too big. I don't really fit.

Wren: I see something under the deck I need to get. Argh. I will get it. I get it!

He has retrieved a piece of sidewalk chalk forgotten under the deck. It is yellow. He walks over to the cement path and starts to draw.

Wren: I need to make a special pattern on the sidewalk. It will confuse him and he thinks its an item of a jewel. Mecha-Godzilla has a jewel. It is going to be the same as HIS jewel-thing. Mecha-Godzilla's jewel thing.

Me: Look what Mecha-Godzilla's jewel looks like!

Wren with the jewel.

Retainer 101

Frost had his retainer fitted at the orthodontist today. The retainer is supposed to keep his teeth in the nice new spacious place created by the braces. It is to remain in his mouth almost all the time until his adult teeth come in.

After the fitting, Frost was given instructions on care and use of his retainer. Apparently retainers have a perilous life. Not surprisingly, since they are in the care of elementary aged children and must be removed and remembered after eating. They are at most risk out of the mouth.

According to the orthodontic nurse, Frost should always carry his retainer box (of which he was given two, one in a stylish sparkly black and one in glow-in-the-dark greenish white). He should remove the retainer and insert it in the box to eat. He should remove it to clean his teeth, clean it, and then reinsert for bed. According to a small girl in the dentist's office, he should also remove it to swim since "it could just dissolve in water." Her mother and I were skeptical of her reasoning, but apparently the orthodontist told her to take it out for swimming - perhaps because it could fall out in the water and be lost.

When a retainer is out of the mouth it should be in the box only. If not, bad and damaging things could happen. According to the dental nurse, here are the top ranked excuses for lost/damaged retainers:

"I didn't have the box so:

1) I wrapped it in a paper napkin by my plate when I was eating then my Mom threw it away!

2) I put it on the table and the dog chewed it. [Apparently dogs love the smell of retainers and routinely chew on them and "eat them up". According to the dental nurse at Dr Sata's "When I worked at an orthodontist's office there was a night guard that is like a retainer and it was jut a dog toy if you didn't them in the box. And they were expensive!

3) I put it in my pocket and then I forgot and sat on it.

4) I put it somewhere else and I can't find it."

Frost is being remarkably conscientious about it. He worries about the location of his retainer box and whether it might go right down his throat (I said "no"). He worried about wearing it at school and taking it out for lunch. He even begged to be allowed to stay home because "It will take time to get used to it!"

Was it hard on the first day?

"No, it was easy. At lunch I just popped it in the box. Oh, but the lunch lady came around and gave us lollypops so I had to take it out and put it back two times. Do you want to see how I do it?"

I declined. My only concern is the number of times he sticks his (dirty, unwashed, school-germy) fingers in his mouth to move and remove it. Does he have to carry hand sanitizer now?