Ice-skating Scorpions

Yesterday, we were watching the Olympics and Wren asked me "Do scorpions go ice-skating?"

I said they did not.

"No, they DO. They DO in 'STRALIA!"

I said that they don't have much ice in Australia but they have scorpions.

"Are they THIS BIG?" he wondered, holding his arms out to their widest extent.

"No, they are only tiny." I showed him with my fingers.

"No, in 'STRALIA they are this big, " he assured me.

"I am glad they aren't that big because they have stings. If you see one at Granny's you must tell me."

"I must go to Granny's house if I see a scorpion?"

"No, if you see one AT granny's you must tell her."

"I must go to Granny's house" he concluded.

This is typical of the circuitous and strange conversations we have thesedays.

Cherries

Wren and I are playing a game in which you turn a spinner and pick the corresponding number of plastic cherries from a tree on the board and put them in your basket. Some spins will make you lose cherries because a dog upsets your basket or birds steal them.

Wren doesn't like these rules.

If he gets cherries consistently he gets frustrated. He wants to lose cherries sometimes and insists on putting some back. The goal of the game is to pick all the cherries but if Wren's tree becomes bare he quickly tips some back from his basket. This way, the game never ends. Eventually, he says "lets do something else".

I wonder when kids become "rule conscious" and what the means, developmentally.

Letters

Wren has started to become aware of letters and writing. He writes his name on drawings as a series of dashes and scrawls. When he sees the big W Huskies sign he shouts "THERE IS MY NAME!" or "THERE IS DOUBLE YOU!!" He also yells this when he sees M's or W's in words on buildings or signs outside places such as the dentist. He tries to draw W's but by mistake his hand keeps going up and down to make a pattern of jagged waves rather than just a W. This is very frustrating to Wren and he shouts and complains that it is not right.

He also recognizes a few other letters (like O and S and V) but none others consistently. I am not sure whether I should teach them to him.

The Five Love Languages (of Children)

Last night at preschool parent meeting we were told about the 5 love languages. This is a pop psych theory that says we all have a preference to one of five modes of expressing and receiving love. This morning I gave Frost the survey for older kids to see what his dominant love language is.

Not surprisingly, his is GIFTS.

He said that the ones that made him feel most happy and special were when his parents give him a surprise gift and when he likes people he likes to give them money and things. I asked him whether that is just because he likes more stuff? "No, no" he said. I like to make my friends happy like that and even if its a little thing, like one D&D miniature, I really like getting a present. He gave more examples, and I believe him.

So, to show Frost you love him - send him a surprise present in the mail!

Here are his scores:

Physical touch: hugs, kisses, high fives: 1

Words of affirmation: telling him he is special: 3

Acts of service: Liking people doing nice things for them and helping them. 3

Quality time: Doing things with him, hanging out. 5

Gifts: Feeling good when they receive a special present or surprise 7

Quality time is a fairly close second which also makes sense. Frost interpreted a few of the quality time questions as 'gifts' because they involved doing something with him that was a gift. Time is a gift.

Me? I like acts of service and GIFTS! Surprising gifts are the best.

It is very exciting to walk into a glass door. I did it today on the way to the dentist. I was walking towards the assistant who was sitting at her desk - she was about 20 feet away and I smiled and then 'WHAM' I was staggering backwards holding one hand to my head and hopping. It was just like a panel in a comic book in which the superhero hits someone and they see stars and their eyes get spirals in them. I was totally stunned.

A few seconds later I realized I had walked into a door.

Nicole (the receptionist) asked "are you alright?"

I said "No, I don't think so" and collapsed in a chair.

My knee was very sore and I had a bump on my forehead that will be a bruise tomorrow. I asked for ice and lay in the dentist's chair with a baggy of ice on it throughout the exam.

Everyone in the dentist's office knew I was the one who walked into the door.

Josh was the most comforting. He told me that he has also walked into a glass door - on the way to his first Kung-fu class. Immediately, I felt affirmed as one of the herd of people who walk into doors but are not idiots, or are, but are social about it.

Winter Break

Frost is off school this week for Winter Break. Its been a stunning week of relatively warm weather, bold blue skies and sunshine. People are outside: running, walking, gardening, wondering whether its too early to plant seed (usually it is but it feels like spring).

We bought a plum tree bare-root and planted it in the back yard. The other plum tree has borne only 4 plums in its 5 years so I have concluded its a pollination problem. The second plum is self-pollinating so either way we shall have plums.

The boys have been helping me remove stones from the garden. I've paid them 1$ per bucket of pebbles they collect and the beds along the south side of the house are finally starting to take shape. In summer, this area gets a lot of heat and sun and I am thinking of planting corn and sunflowers there and cleaning up the side yard for a small shed.

For those of you who live in other regions, Seattle is having a renaissance of food gardening. Many beautiful neighborhood gardens are being reshaped to include edibles. We have a short but very productive growing season for stone-fruits, apples, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries and other less known varieties like huckleberries. Experts argue about why people are ripping out their lawns to grow food - some say its to 'eat local' and improve our health while reducing our carbon footprint. Others claim it is due to the recession and the chance to eat well and save money. Others say its therapeutic and builds community as we connect with our gardens.

Anyway, we are still talking about our trip to South Africa in summer. We wanted to go somewhere devious instead but it looks like that won't work so I am making plans again instead.

Wren enjoying a kids cocktail at the diner on Friday night.

Wren rearranging some ducks in someone's yard.

Dylan, Frost and Ariadne in the fort, in the rain, having built a BRIDGE (Sunday lunch).

I am going to post this now even though it is not crafted graciously. I am going to try and keep up a bit more. We're all so busy and the moment I type on my computer the kids latch onto the ipod, DS, TV or Youtube so I have to be careful when I use screentime!.

Catch me if you can

So much news so little blog. I know. I have been an un-blogger but I hope to make up this week.

Yesterday, I took a ride around Greenlake with Wren, Frost and Alex. All of us were on our scooters. My butt is rather sore from pushing but Wren did superbly. It is 3 miles (5k) and he only complained in the last stretch.

Friday night we enjoyed some art at Roq la Rue Gallery in Belltown and went out to dinner with the boys afterwards. It felt fun to be out with at night with the whole family. I am going to bed soon so I shan't write much but here are some pictures for Mum, who has just returned from 'the Cabin' at Port Julia.

Frost, Wren and Alex halfway around the lake. We are wearing coats because a light rain is falling which meant the track was not crowded for a weekend.

A passerby offered to take a picture of all of us, so here I am with the boys. I ride the razor scooter with broken handlebar which we scavanged from a dumpster at a campsite last summer.

Wren at Roq La Rue. He is very afraid of dogs but decided he liked this dog, Oliver, who was a very sedate bulldog. Wren stroked and talked to Oliver. Oliver showed surprising speed when he saw Frost's hedgehog puppet which he believed to be a dog toy. Luckily Wren did not see that.

Frost stands beneath a painting we liked.

Lunar New Year

I think I mentioned that I was helping facilitate the Lunar New Year Celebration at Frost's school. It was held yesterday and was a big success, if measured by numbers. We went through 450 paper plates and a few people estimated that there were 500 people there. I have no idea but it was B-U-S-Y and we finished all our pounds of Costco Candy and the 150 Lai-See's of jelly beans.

I am very relieved its over. Josh came and helped look after Wren during setup and over the night. It was pretty hectic.

Here are some pictures.

Myself, photographed by Wren at Roy Street Coffee (the faux Starbucks).
Wren enjoying his kids foam with chocolate - they did a great one.

Gei's Chinese New Year display.
The Belltown Martial Arts dancers perform the lion dance (Buddha and Lion are friends).
The crowd (Josh and Wren coloring new years pictures at the yellow table). Finally, Frost posing in my sunglasses. It was sunny enough for sunnies yesterday.

Max S. Gerber's Video

Teen and young adult heart 'kids' talk about their lives. By Max S. Gerber - photographer and author of My Heart Vs. the Real World.

i'm a lot closer to it than a lot of people. from Max S. Gerber on Vimeo.

Soulumination Sale

In Seattle we have a lovely charity called Soulumination. It is a charity of volunteer photographers who take pictures of critically ill children. They have photographed Wren before his last surgery and a number of my friend's kids with CHDs.

Today is there 5th anniversary celebration and sale - 2-6pm at the Ballard Studio. Come on over to Ballard and support their great work.

Turning off

Sometimes I feel I have to be a computer geek to get Frost to turn off his computer. Here's how it goes:

Me: Frost, its time to turn off your game. Wind it down within 5 minutes.
Frost: WHAT? WHAT? I HAVE MORE TIME.
Me: No, the time is up now. You have five minutes.
Frost (apparently cursing under his breath without the use of discernible swear words)

10 minutes pass.

Me: OK, turn it off.
Frost: I CAN'T
[He turns his back to me and cowers closer to the screen as if to protect the power button from me]
Me: You can, just QUIT or PAUSE.
Frost: I CAN'T. I will lose ALL MY PROGRESS and I have [earned 3 billion golden coins / gained eternal life / beaten the boss / discovered a secret level] and DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT????? DO YOU???
Me: Yes, you knew you had 5 minutes...
Frost: Well, there is no exit from this level. This STUPID GAME doesn't have a save / end / quit / pause button. I DON"T KNOW WHY. Can YOU see it?
Me: There must be one.
Frost. NO, there is NOT.
Me: Well, lose your progress then.
Frost: You want me to lose my progress (sad voice with strident undertones)
Me: I want to stop talking about it... and turn it off.
Frost: Ok Ok... I will turn it off.
Me: Ok.

[I turn away to attend to Wren who is trying to watch the game hero [goring a bear / flying through the sky / talking to a penguin] while [shrieking about candy / needing to poo / wanting a snack / wanting to watch Zaboo / needing me to DRAW A TANK RIGHT NOW. I draw a tank while making dinner, a snack, putting on the dishwasher and answering the phone.] In this way 5 minutes pass before I notice that Frost is still playing his game.

Me: FROST, TURN THAT THING OFF!!!
Frost: I AM!!!! BUT AS I WAS TURNING IT OFF THE STUPID GAME ATTACKED!.
Me: What? The game doesn't jsut attack.
Frost: I was going to the exit and this guy attacked me!!! Now I can't quit.
Me: Well PAUSE and Daddy can figure out how to quit later [I often have to call Josh to counter this argument that "I can't quit". There is no PAUSE. I will be just a second.....
Me: You can't quit? Well, I can.
Frost: NOOOOOO!!!
Me: YEESSSS!

[I stride over and grab the mouse, intent on TURNING IT OFF. My dramatic flair is compromised by the lack of an obvious control menu in the game. I can't find the browser. Argh! My eyes flick to the computer power switch which is covered by a plastic button because Wren used to turn it off at willl and anyway, you know you shouldn't hard power it down even in a moment of parental tantrum. I fluster around while Wren shrieks because I am now delaying in drawing the BOMBS for the TANK.

Eventually, I find a way to close the browser / game and it is gone.

Frost is belligerent and accusatory. I am belligerent and louder. I yell at him that he had many warnings and it is time to do his reading / game / hang out. He tells me to stop lecturing him and walks to his room sniffling and dejected.

I am once again the BAD GUY.

Sigh.

Vignettes

Vignette #1: Siblings
Frost was off school on Monday with a sore throat. He was lying languidly on the couch under a soft blanket when Wren came up to him.

"Say OW Frost." Wren demanded.
"What?"
"Say OW."
"No," said Frost.
Wren bent over and picked up a nerf gun lying on the carpet. He hit Frost over the head.
"OOOOWW" said Frost.
Wren seemed satisfied.

Vignette#2 Seedy places
Frost had his top braces fitted today. They were uncomfortable and his gums hurt but the orthodontist only had tylenol capsules. Frost is not yet able to swallow a tablet with water so, after much weeping and complaining, we decided to try and buy some Tylenol on the way to school.

We were late so I stopped at a mini-mart attached to a service station. As soon as we walked in I realized it was not going to have Children's Tylenol as its patrons were unlikely to have ever spawned a (known) child.

The shopkeeper kept his eyes on the kids from the moment they came in. I was looking around in hope of finding medicines and he kept meeting my eyes as if to show he was watching me. I guess I look like the kind of person who might be going to steal a six-pack of beer, a wad of ribbed condoms or perhaps a single dose Ultra-Concentrated Excedrin. The kids were clearly kleptomaniacs about to steal wads of gum (or gun-shaped cigarette lighters) or some Energy Drink.

A man in a business suit pushed past us in irritation (like there was no other aisle) and then, after we had moved, pushed passed again with a curt "excuse ME."

All the while, a strangely out-of-tune radio was playing something jarring and foreign.

As we were leaving the store Frost asked me "What is a *exual *timulant?" I have eliminated the Ses in case a search engine records me as a lewd site. I explained that it was sometimes used by people who had trouble having sex.

Then I paused. "Do you know what *ex is?"
"YEES!" said Frost, exasperated.
"Well, last time I asked you said it was rubbing bellies together!"
"No, its... [Frost explains correct anatomical act.]
"I know what it is!" says Wren, who has been listening.
"What is it?" asks Frost, sensing the kind of wildly funny moment he is at pains to create.
"It is when you rub balloons all over your body and it gets covered in FUR. No, I mean HAIR. It is called 'looning!"

Rufs

We are thinking about our roof. Josh has noticed that there is some water "getting in" through the roof to the lower eaves. I am going to consult some ruffers and see what they recommend. I am 40 something and glad this is the first time I have had to deal with a ruf repair.