Chasing Seagulls

Wren and I went to the park yesterday. Yes, it had been raining all day. Yes, it was very windy. Yes, the slide was wet. All Wren wanted to do was chase seagulls.

Here is is with the seagulls rising away from him.

The dazzling whites of shining snow

I staggered out into the kitchen at 5.45am to take my medicinal licorice [1] and some tea because my throat is still croaky in the morning. Wren was yelling "come play!!!" at my departing back. The moment I came into the kitchen I knew something was up. The room was bathed in the distinctive luminosity which comes from SNOW shining through the patio doors. Yes, snow shines. Anyone who has been out at night knows how it transforms the night - even a moonless one. I called Wren to come see and he stood for a long while with his face to the glass at the back and then the front window. Finally, he had had enough. He started whining.

"Turn off that snow. I want stop it. Turn off that snow MOMMY!!! I want stop it going down on the ground. I want turn it off!!! I want to! I do no like it."

Wren throws himself on the ground fake crying. A moment later he sits up.

"I can't see snow! Booky beek. Booky beek."

And he began reading one of the new library books we picked out yesterday.

School had a delayed start due to the snow so after breakfast we rugged up and went out to make a snowman. The snow was too dry to roll so we threw snowballs, shoveled it and slid down the snowy slide. It was fun!


Potty Training
We have started potty training with Wren. Over the past 2 days he has had two successful potty visits although he doesn't seem to be able to predict when anything is likely to happen. We read a few books and sometimes we are 'lucky' with results. After we flushed a poop last night Wren was very worried about it. He left the dinner table to close the lid of the toilet in case "the poop came up again!" He had noticed the toilet refilling with water after we flushed and was concerned that it might not be clean!

We have not had any luck today but have had a few accidents as we go diaper-less sometimes hoping for results.

Here is the chicken coop
We are waiting to buy pullets after we know whether we are going to Australia. Josh has submitted his passport application [yay!] and I have submitted Frost's APP appeal [yay!] so there are only a few more Highly Significant Events to overcome before we can really plan a vacation [ok, not so Yay due to the cardiology clinic on Monday].

Doesn't it look hopeful and wonderful? Should we paint it? The second picture shows where it is located in the back yard.



[1] The licorice has been prescribed by my naturopath to help me cope with the less than desirable hours of sleep Wren requires of me. Apparently, taken on waking and at noon the licorice helps regulate cortisol production or some issues with the adrenal gland. I have noticed it has improved my sleep at night - I don't seem to wake as easily.

Its all about sunshine

In a previous post I mentioned I have been sick. I had a cold/cough/fever thing that really knocked me about. Today I am feeling better but I am moody. After I get sick enough to collapse in bed I find myself quiet emotional. This morning I burst into tears listening to the news that the OCO had crashed into the ocean after a launch failure. I am still really sad about it, about the time spent in creating it and the hopes that sank with it.

The kids were concerned when they saw me crying. Wren said "Mummy alright?" and I said I was but the rocket wasn't. Frost said "so did a lot of people die?" and when I said that no people died he looked at me funny. I tried to explain about people working since he was born to envisage and create this thing to give us more information to model and understand global warming but it unraveled into pathos and I felt sadder. Frost turned off the news and put on Michael Jackson instead then they both danced about to it.

Last week I was told that I am Vitamin D deficient so I bought some supplements today. I don't know if they will work. I feel I need warming up and profound brightness not a capsule The sun IS out but its like skim milk compared to whipping cream. It doesn't warm you. I have lived lots of places in the world and I have to say I like the color of the sun best in Africa. The Australian sun is too bright and the Seattle sun is too low in the sky, even in summer it doesn't move into the same spectrum as light in Africa. in South Africa the sun is thick like honey, really lots of red in it. You feel warm just looking at it. Even in Joburg where it gets cold and thin skied the sun is still vibrant. The sun in winter is like the light in a movie where you're in an alley too narrow for much light to enter and there is a wind blowing and newspapers have separated and are blowing about.

Josh is putting in his passport application this week and many hopes come into play around it. We hope Wren's next cardiology clinic (Monday 2nd March) clears him to travel to Australia. We hope the fares stay low enough to get us a flight. We hope Josh's passport comes in time to travel when we can. I hope we can travel while its still hot enough to swim in the sea (although Josh wants to delay travel until the sun is a bit dilute). We shall see. Its too soon to dream of timing but I am hoping.

Wren is well. He has been waking at 5.30am and asking to play Duplo as soon as he has nursed. He loves chasing Frost and running with sticks. He shoots me with guns (I know, I am doing something Wrong) and loves Sesame Street but is terrified of Mr Noodle, jays in the garden and feral squirrels.

Last night Frost woke at 4am and came in to tell me he had dreamt it was time to wake up but his clock said it wasn't and it looked dark so what should he do?

I guess I am in a funk. If I was a single girl or even a childless girl this is the mood in which I'd take some personal time and lounge at home with tea for a bit to regather and then do some spontaneous and random things like driving north to find a swan or going to the UW library and chosing a call number at random. I want to meditate and live in a yurt with an anglo-nubian goat for milk, sew a quilt of peacocks, paint a long panel from an old photograph of a Cape-Town beach. I want to live on one crock-pot of soup for a week.

A child known in our heart community is struggling on ECMO after a failed heart transplant. I shouldn't have looked. When will I learn.

I just want sunshine and fresh guava. I can't even find a canned guava around here. Hey, some South African please mail me a can of Koo Guavas.

746.84

I run a Google Alert on Shone's Syndrome and its permutations. From time to time it throws up new articles and blogs with relevant information. Today, it delivered a link from a bulletin board for health insurance coders - the people who take the charts and translate them into insurance billable conditions as the basis of payment processing. Apparently, a health information coder was stumped on how to code a case with Shone's Syndrome and concurrent conditions:

"Shones syndrome w/subaortic stenosis and coarctation: Shones syndrome is 746.84
But for the subaortic stenosis and coarctation, sends me to 396:

Is 396.2, "Mitral valve insufficiency and aortic valve stenosis " the correct code ?"

The expert provided help:

"Shone's syndrome is coded 746.84 - if you read the notes under that (in the Tabular) - it gives you the codes for concurrent conditions - subaortic stenosis = 746.81 and coarctation of the aorta = 747.10. These are all congenital conditions which is why they are all 700 codes."

I don't know why I find this interesting. As a child I used to collect numbers. I felt there was a secret code to things around me and if I collected enough information I would find it. You know those little metal tags that are sometimes nailed to sidewalks or buildings? I used to record the numbers on them, the numbers on lamp posts in our neighborhood and the numbers on tickets. Well, now I am a Shone's Syndrome geek. I see it from the front and it amuses me to glimpse the way the coder sees it.

That could be Wren's file on her desk.

Oh Doctor, Doctor will you marry me?

Wren has been playing Doctor and I am not sure how I feel about it. He likes to use the stethoscope (which we had for his G-tube placement) to listen to his stuffed animals' 'tummies', give shots with an old syringe and apply band aids. Big Bird had a particularly bad run-in with a box of band aids and Wren spent a long while this evening walking around cuddling and comforting him, patting him and talking soothingly to him. At bedtime he put him to bed with the other animals.

Now I played doctor when I was young so I have nothing against the profession. There was the infamous game of "wee wee doctors" in which my younger brother, the young neighbors and I (we were young because the play house we used for a hospital was tiny but I have no idea what age) did operations drawing with markers on each others genitals. We were 'discovered' by the neighbors parents when their younger daughter said it was "sore" down there. Uh oh. I guess our operations were not a success and we were chastised and restricted to dolls.

But its one thing to play doctor when you only see one for your annual checkup and another when you go to doctors for surgery and echos and EKGs. I am not sure how to play doctors with Wren. I have read that medical play is useful to help kids process and manage their anxiety. But what about parents? I feel really sad and conflicted listening to bear's heart. I hate to give Otter ANOTHER shot. Hasn't OTTER had enough already? At least Wren isn't chopping otter up and sedating him.

I notice that Seattle Children's is advertising its "Health Fair 2009" on March 14th. They invite families to hospital for "Lots of fun activities" like touring an operating room, learning about heart health, looking inside an ambulance and bringing your doll for a check-up at Teddy Bear Clinic. You can even get a finger cast!

I confess, the idea fills me with dread. I don't think of the hospital as a nice educational environment. I think of it as the place where children face life-saving procedures and life-ending illnesses. I know I should try and reclaim the space in the face of the many good things that are done there but honestly, at Hospital Wren is a sick kid but at home he is normal. Its as simple as that.

Except when he plays DOCTOR!

Chicken Coop is here
On a more cheerful note - we now have a chicken coop with space for 5+ chickens to roost. It is 10ft X 40" with the run and looks beautiful. Joshua popped outside before he left tonight just to look at it.

We don't have any chickens yet but are looking at Rhode Island Reds and Auracana's (for their blue eggs). Josh thinks we should buy pullets that have been sexed and/or young hens so we don't have the issues with chicks. I am in agreement but don't really know much about young ones since Gabriella and Xena were already 2 when we got them.

I shall post a picture of the coop and of Frost's Diet Coke + Mentos experiment tomorrow.

The Menace of a Stopwatch

Yesterday Frost was given a stopwatch. I expected him to time himself doing laps of the house or hopping across the living room. Not Frost. He was reading with great concentration before breakfast and when the time came for him to eat he announced "I have read 3 and 3/4 chapters in 23.85 minutes!" Great, its the reading Olympics.

Wren noticed Frost clicking and carrying the stopwatch and now wants one too. Until he could get his hands on it he carried around a whistle on a string and managed to get himself snared by the neck to a chair-leg. I have taken the toy away.

I am a bit sick today. I have a low fever, chills, aches and a very sore throat. I am at the point of wishing it would just turn into the inevitable cold. Nobody else seems affected so I am hoping it is just my turn for the lurgy that everyone else in the family had a few weeks ago.

Today we received the reminder for Wren's follow-up echo on March 2nd. It is at 2pm and clinic at 3pm. I am of course in dread.

The kids both received Hep B shots today - a series I delayed in infancy. Wren was very afraid of the idea of the shot. I didn't use the Emla because I still had failed to learn how to do it properly. The nurse at our pediatrician explained that you need to use a larger amount than I did last time (about the size of a quarter and quite thick) and to cover it with tagaderm for 1hr +.

I plan to use it for the next Synagis shot.

The next couple of weeks are very busy with school tours - we have Thornton Creek this week and Bryant and Lowell in the first week of May.

Shannon

Drawing and break

Its mid-winter break and Frost is off school this week. Yesterday we went to Nurturing Pathways dance and Frost helped distract Wren from his moves. It was sunny, and when Wren woke from his nap we went out into the garden and prepared the 'foundation' for the chicken coop which is being delivered Friday or Saturday morning.

The weather has been a bit warmer this week and this afternoon is sunny. I'm wearing a t-shirt indoors and have been out with only a light fleece so its starting to feel amost spring-like. I noticed the crocus are popping up in people's gardens and our cats have been lying on the deck soaking up the sun. This sunshine is timely. The results of a bloodtest run by our naturopath shows I am in the low range for vitamin D. I think she said mine was 34 when the normal range is 33-100. I am supposed to go out and get some 4,000 IU supplement. Ho hum.

Meanwhile, the school tour season is on. Next week I am touring Bryant and Thornton Creek. Lowell the week following. I am still in a whirl about what school option is best for Frost. He narrowly missed testing into APP on the district test but we have his private testing results which easily qualify him and should pass on appeal.

Meanwhile, Frost and Wren have been drawing. Frost has never had a drive to create although he enjoys drawing socially and telling stories through cartoon like creations. Wren on the other hand is a manic drawer. He draws as long as your attention lasts and frequently helps himself to my computer paper and pens to "you draw!" He surprised me yesterday by going into his room with the pens and coming out with this lovely rather representational depiction of a "keleton man". I was less keen on the drawings ON the carpet and crib. Frost's drawing shows a bear in a forest under an apple tree. I like the roots going into the earth and those happy stars.

Frost's Valentine to Wren

Dear Wren...
I think you are funny
and you love your bunny.
I think your the best
but somtimse...
... your a pest!!!

FROST age 7

mushroom chicken tubing

Sorry I haven't posted recently. Things seem to have been a bit hectic at home. We are in a rut of Frost-playdate-strut-eat-candy-draw-limits-Wren-yelling-cook-dinner-playduplo etc.

I am a bit frustrated by it.

However, I have just spent 20 minutes sampling coffee with the Zoka staff and I am feeling better. Its very like wine tasting. I learned all about the beans and how they are prepared. Then I learned how to inhale the freshly prepared espresso from a spoon. You have to slurp it very noisily into your mouth to aerosolize it without it hitting the back of your throat. Then you spit it out into a cup. Some coffees were very smoky, others were sour. It was quite informative. I feel gratified to have had this experience - if I come away with two new obsessions from my time in Seattle it would be appropriate that they are mycology and coffee.

I think as a parent you have to have an activity, a life beyond the needs of kids even if it is something you share with them like birdwatching or mushrooms. It needs to be something you really like for itself not because it keeps the children happy/educate/out of your way.

Along these lines, tomorrow we are going to the farmer's market to buy a shiitake mushroom log (and leeks, coriander, potatoes, etc). Its not really a log. Its a a compressed stump like thing innoculated with shiitake spores. I have told Frost that if he buys the log I will buy shiitake from him - for $4 a punnet. I think he is interested in them growing but not in eating them.

Wren is quite excited by our plan to buy chickens to live in the garden. He loves the neighborhood chickens (there are 3 coops we visit). We are going out to Stanwood to buy a coop on Sunday afternoon and chickens will follow. We will be looking for a house-sitter if we go on Vacation - to watch 2 cats and 2 chickens!

Tomorrow we are going snow tubing at the Snoqualmie Summit. Frost is very excited but Wren is just worried. He is quite anxious at the moment - in particular he hates his snow coat, the thought that I might give him a bath or the idea I may wash his hair.

Troublesome kids books

Every now and then I come across a kids book that makes me flinch. Sometimes its easy to put it aside and say "this is not for me" [like that book Mum gave us about how nice Polite Elephants Behave. All the badly behaved elephants were my kid]. But its not always as clearcut. Some contemporary classics of the children's books scene have me going "what?" and either rephrasing or being left with some puzzlement. Here are the best of the best:

The Rainbow Fish
This is a little story about a beautiful shiny scaled fish that lives under the sea. For some reason unexplained in the story, this fish has lost its school and is living with a different species of fish. The fish in the neighborhood covet its pretty scales but it doesn't want to wrench off parts of its body so they refuse to play with it. In its loneliness it seeks the counsel of wise underwater creatures who counsel it to rip off its most lovely scales and give them to the different species of fish. These fish manage to incorporate the DNA and look pretty. Once they look the same they let him play and everyone is 'happy' [aka, the same]. As the author, Marcus Pfister, puts it:

Soon all the fish came, and the Rainbow Fish gave away his scales, one by one. Finally he had only one shining scale left. But now, as he swam off to play with his friends, he was the happiest fish in the sea.

Friends? Give me another. I guess this means you have to give of yourself until you reach the lowest common denominator. God forbid he gave away the last scale and was shiny-scale-less while his 'friends' had one. Who knows what would have happened then.

I hate this book.

The Runaway Bunny - Margaret Wise-Brown
This is a classic American storybook. The story is beautiful and had sweet and witty pictures of a little bunny trying to develop his independence despite his mother's inability to separate and give him any space. This woman needs a life! Her possessiveness doesn't emerge straight away. At first you think that she is just being loving but after a while the malevolent stalker version emerges:

"If you become a fish in a trout stream," said his mother, "I will become a fisherman and I will fish for you." [illustrated with a tiny bunny swimming towards a hook baited with a carrot]

Hello? What happens when a fish takes a lure? The real clincher of the book is when the bunny tries tranmutation into a sailboat:

"If you become a tree," said the little bunny,
"I will become a little sailboat, and I will sail away from you."

"If you become a sailboat and sail away from me,"
said his mother, "I will become the wind
and blow you where I want you to go."

There, she lays it all out. Its about getting the baby bunny to do what she wants and stay with her forever. There is one word for that "Therapy" [his or hers]. I always change the words on that page at least to "blow you where you want to go."

We're Going on a Bear Hunt - Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury
I love this book, really, but it puzzles me. Its clearly written in England or some other country in which bears are more mythical and less real-big-dangerous-animal because its not really so amusing to stalk a grizzly bear and have it chase you home into your house and maul your door. That's not what I hold against it. My problem is that its in that class of kids book in which the family relationships are blurred. I bet there is some child psychologist out there who will tell you that kids don't need as much clarity as us adults, that they are more concerned with family dynamic and the role of the kids but as the reader it bugs me.

There is a dad and a toddler who is carried and two smaller siblings who could be twins (boy, girl) but then there is this inbetween girl. Is she a kind of teen mother or a teenage elder sister? I am always trying to figure this out. On page 2 she looks like a child (small nose) compared to dad (large nose) but when they cross the river she looks like an adult. She helps the kids take off their shoes while Dad just sits like a lump and contemplates the mud but then she reverts to a child in the forest scene. She hugs Dad at the cave entrance with some ambiguity and when they rush home to bed there is no mum and she looks quite old again. ARGH.

Along these lines is Max and Ruby by Rosemary Wells in which the bunnies seem to live alone without interference of parents or Child Protective Services. What happened to their parents? Were they eaten by a rhino? And why is Granny living up the road if there are no parents? I really feel for Ruby forced to bring up her younger brother who so clearly has issues already.

General News
Now that I have got that out of my system, we are all well. I am still upset by the awful situation in Victoria, Australia. However we are doing ok. The shots went smoothly yesterday despite a lot of apprehension when the nurse arrived (crying) and little apparent benefit from the Emla. I shall be checking the dose and application with the doctor.

The good news is that Wren has gained 13 ounces in one month. Of course my first thought was swelling but he has no edema and looks healthy. That may mean he is doing ok heart-wise. It is certainly not a bad sign! I have noticed that he has grown a lot recently because I have started to put the side of the crib down before taking him out and letting him climb into his carseat alone.

He now weighs 28lbs 6 oz.

Frost is also well but was in trouble tonight when he was caught lying to Joshua about sneaking candy from the cupboard. I have been trying to cut back candy to weekends only but he resists. He has started to play Josh and I off against each other, play dumb when it suits him and create untruths or half-truths which he almost makes himself believe. He was punished by receiving no desert and a stern talking-to.